The 2015 Year in Band Names

Every year the Onion’s AV Club compiles a list of their favorite band names of the year. The list is always worth reading and mostly crude.

Reading the list got me thinking of my deranged cousin who often tells me the names of his “new bands” via gchat. The names are often pulled from an article or news story, or whatever other nonsense we are discussing to pass a boring work day.

Like the AV clubs list it is worth looking over and mostly crude. Also, by publishing this post, I believe we own the copyright and will sue anyone who tries stealing this gold:

Suitcase of Donuts
Chemical Burger
Power Bears
Turkey Curtains – outlaw country band
Squirtin’ Curtains
Murder Squirter
Pete the Dolphin Friend – progressive bluegrass band
Fainting Goats – reggae band
Placenta for Days – coffee house folk band
Daze for Placenta – speed metal band
Hitler Playing Sega
Hair Mayonnaise
Lumberjack Bandit
Lumberjackit Band
Wheelbarrow Full of Cash – jazz band
Train Stuffing Tokyo – EDM
Fancy Tortillas – ska
Bird Strike
Reek for Weeks
Beef on Demand
Beef Reeks
Coral Beef
Beef Corral
Beef Reeks
Beef Leeks
Armed Children
Hood Donuts
Crude Weiners
Rude Weiners
Glued Weiners
Prude Weiners
Feud Weiners
Quintuple Double
Corpse-filled Boat
Gag on Banana – ska
Snake Mattress – christian metal band
Mattress Snake
Chauffeured Jag
Vomit Therapy
Commercial-free Wretching
Gaunt Polar Beer
Ronald Raven
Cash Cow
Facebook Threats
They Call Them Dinkies
So Many Holes!
Stretched Foreskin
Stretched 4 Skin
My van’s on the Internet?
Hotcake Syrup
The Economic Terrorists
Scumquat
Smear Job
6 Pitches, Zero Swings
Puff Lunch
Puff Munch
Munching Puffs
Merkin Puffs
Climaxing Mirman
Pinata Full of Hot Dogs
The Bar Hardening
The Perfect Beef
The Chocolate Combination
Zoomin’ on Wangs
Wayward Meat
Sir Valience
Heroin Meat Thieves
Screen Wipings
The Creamy Bananas
Porch Pirates
Carpentry Hot Dog
Carpenter’s Working Lunch
Table Saw Dawg
[guitar riff]
Prison Ham Farts
Hamdogger & the Fiscal Cliff
Fiscal Cliff Murder
Mud Slut
Baby Shield
Creeping Jungle Cat
Hope for Injuries
Transient with a Hatchet
Fishtank Airhose and the Colossal Apostle Fossils

If you are a betting man, you can probably expect to see at least one of these on the AV Clubs 2016 list of terrible band names.