What If They Grew A Steesh: Paula Deen

Paula Deen Mustache

Paula Dean is a southern cook who uses a lot of butter and once got a ham thrown at her face. The only reason I’m posting this is to share a video I saw the other day that she was in. The video has had over 100,000 views the last 2 days and I am responsible for at least 7 of those.

UDPATE: I can’t figure out how to use the internets. Click here for video.

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Andrew Garfield to Star in Remake of The Prestige?

Andrew Garfield Mustache Beard

I couldn’t find any proof that Andrew Garfield was set to reprise Christian Bale’s role in the 2006 film The Prestige, but he sure looks like he borrowed one of Bale’s character’s disguises from the movie. Of course, he might just be sneaking into shows to steal acts from more successful magicians.

Peter Dinklage

Peter Dinklage Mustache

Peter Dinklage, or “The Dink” as I assume his friends call him, is an actor who was in a pretty good movie called The Station Agent in 2003. He was also in Elf. Um yeah, he was in 30 Rock. He is in Game of Thrones. I don’t have much to say about him, as you can tell. I just wanted to say “the dink”.

 

 

 

 

 

Love Advice From Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally

Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally Love Advice

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, married couple Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally answered questions and shared relationship advice with The A.V. Club.

Bill Murray Mustache Madness Update

Bill Murray Mustache 2013

It looks like Bill Murray hasn’t shaved much since the last time we saw him. I think this picture was taken as Bill left a model train convention.

Josh Freeman As Michael Jackson With A Baby Tiger (Slightly Modified)

Josh Freeman Michael Jackson Mustache

ESPN the Magazine has put together a music issue featuring athletes posing as famous album covers. Here is Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Josh Freeman as Michael Jackson (slightly modified) on the Thriller cover.

The issue also features NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson as Bob Dylan and track and field sprinter Allyson Felix as Beyoncé. You’ve got to give it to ESPN the Magazine for knowing their audience. They took athletes their readers might usually not care about and dressed them up as musicians they probably don’t care about. 

Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman Feuding?!?!?!?

Robin Williams Mustache

Robin Williams heard that I posted Dustin Hoffman’s mustache from Hook last week and promptly grew a mustache of his own. No matter what you think of him, you’d have to admit it’s a nice looking tickler.

I have mixed feelings about Robin Williams. I remember watching one of his stand-up specials in high school and thinking, “Man that’s a lot of water bottles,” before falling asleep.

As an actor, he is all over the place. He obviously great in Mrs. Doubtfire and Jack but then you look at some of the other garbage he was in like Old Dogs and RV and you wonder how much does cocaine actually cost?

Katy Perry Mans Up On Ellen

Katy Perry Mustache Ellen

Katy Perry helped Ellen Degeneres celebrate her 55th birthday last week by coming on her show dressed as a male game show host. Male Katy hosted a game called “Grab Ellen’s Bust” which sounds inappropriate if you ask me. I wouldn’t know though. I turned off the video 30 seconds in because I was feeling embarrassed for some of the audience members and how excited they were getting.

What If They Grew A Steesh: Oprah Winfrey

Today is Oprah’s birthday. She is 59 years old. I thought it would be fun to post one of the first “What If They Grew A Steesh” posting we ever had, from May 2008. I would update the bad MS paint job mustache, but I don’t care for Oprah.

One time she made a point to say she went to a book store because, as she put it, “I buy my own books.” It still makes me angry to think about her saying that. How distanced from reality does someone have to be to think that anyone would be impressed by another person going to a book store and buying her own book. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT, OPRAH!

I’d wish her a horrible birthday, but she’s rich and will probably be eating her favorite meal with an amazing cake. What else could you really want on your birthday?

Dustin Hoffman – Captain Hook

Dustin Hoffman Mustache

My cousin, who created this site and made every post for a few years, must be some kind of idiot for not having HOOK posted already. I’m going to give him a pass though because I didn’t think about it until right now when I was deep in an IMDB session checking out what Charlie Korsmo got into after acting (went to MIT, worked in missile defense, went to Yale, is now a lawyer).

Happy Birthday, Kevin Costner!

Kevin Costner Mustache

We need more mustached men in the news. This website is turning into a celebrity birthday site and a place that I confess to all the bad movies and shows I’ve watched. Luckily for me, this one falls into the birthday category and I have not recently watched Dancing With Wolves. So – happy 55th birthday Kevin Costner.

Happy Birthday, Jason Segel

Jason Segel Mustache

Today is actor Jason Segel’s 33rd birthday and to celebrate he grew a mustache (in March of last year). And by grew, I mean he had a mustache. It could be fake. How the F am I supposed to know?

This Is Chris O’Dowd’s Mustache

Chris ODowd Mustache This is 40

Here’s a mustache worn by Chris O’Dowd in the feature film This Is 40- a movie worth watching if your family doesn’t fight enough for your liking. It’s worth seeing because Albert Brooks is in it, but be ready to watch a family fight over cupcakes and Internet use.

Don Johnson Is In Django Unchained With A Wild Mustache

Don Johnson Mustache

As I do with any movie that seems like it might be good, I’ve tried to avoid all things Django Unchained. Today I was not able to ignore the unique steesh on Don Johnson for his role as Big Daddy.

Don is 18th on the cast list so I doubt he has a huge role, but it sure will be memorable for that mustache. It looks like a little kid drew a picture of a house on his face with a gray marker.

Dave Chappelle – Chappelle’s Steesh

Dave Chappelle Mustache

Dave Chappelle has long had a nice steesh. I’ve actually had a post saved with this picture for a few months. I was hoping he would enter the news somehow or come out with a new  comedy album. No such look. He keeps a low profile.

I was watching Chappelle’s Show a few nights ago though and I can’t believe how funny it still is. Plenty of laughs from skits I’ve watched over and over again. Plenty of Steeshes as well.

Jeff Bridges Was A Stud-muffin

Jeff Bridges Mustache

I enjoy the work of Jeff Bridges work. He was good in The Big Lebowski and my favorite of his is Arlington Road. But if my roommate puts on TRON: Legacy one more time I’m going to have mental breakdown.

The above picture of Jeff is great. He’s got some serious “come hither” eyes and a distinguished “leave quickly” steesh.

Judd Apatow Guest-Edited Vanity Fair, Likes the Steesh

Judd Apatow, famed writer, director and producer, can now also call himself a magazine editor. He took over the editing duties for this months Vanity Fair for their first ever comedy issue. It may be their first comedy issue but it is just another in a long line of Vanity Fair issues that I’ll never purchase.

Why is this relevant to steeshes? There are 3 covers and each one includes a beautiful mustache.

Paul Rudd:

Paul Rudd Vanity Fair Mustache

Ben Stiller:

Ben Stiller Vanity Fair Mustache

Will Ferrell:

Will Ferrell Vanity Fair Mustache

Well done, Judd.

Dan Aykroyd Has Some Holiday Gift Ideas

Dan Aykroyd as Irwin Mainway

It’s December now so you should begin thinking about what you want to buy your loved ones to show them that you indeed love them. Can’t think of anything? Irwin Mainway has some ideas for you:

Saturday Night Live _ Irwin Mainway by hulu

Steesh In A Box – Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake

Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake sported steeshes in the SNL Digital Short, Dick in a Box. I saw this for the first time in a while last night and it still made me laugh. I don’t know what’s harder to believe – that it’s been around for 6 year and that I still laugh at penis jokes.

Jeremy Renner Is Kind of Short

After watching Saturday Night Live this week, with host Jeremy Renner, I had two lasting thoughts. First he surprised me with his signing voice which was very good, and then he surprised me by how short he was. Here he is with a mustache in a sketch that didn’t even air on the show. I know this post isn’t glamorous, but it’s all I got.

Bill Murray Has Still Got It

Bill Murray, who is no stranger to a nice mustache, has done it again. This picture comes from a site called The Twitter. The woman in the picture is Tichina Arnold, the Everybody Hates Chris actress and wife of St. Johns men’s basketball assistant coach Rico Hines.

In 2012, few people can get away with a floppy hat. Bill Murray is one of them.

Matthew McConaughey Is Preparing For A Role In Your Nightmares

Matthew McConaughey is slimming down to play the role of an AIDS patient in a movie called The Dallas Buyers Club. I wouldn’t ever say that someone suffering from AIDS looks creepy because it’s heartless and cruel, but an actor can look creepy – especially when we know how good he can look with mustache.

The Steesh Aquatic with Owen Wilson

Sometimes I tell people The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is one of my favorite movies, but that’s not really true. I like it a lot, but I didn’t even remember that Owen Wilson had a gentleman’s mustache until I saw part of it again this weekend.

In 2007 it was reported that Owen Wilson attempted suicide due to depression. I’m glad he  was unsuccessful because he seems like a nice guy and I really liked Midnight in Paris. Suicide is for the birds.

If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, send them a link to this website and that should cheer them up. If that doesn’t work, I’m sure you can Bing “depression” to get some helpful resources.

Robert De Niro – The Steesh of Comedy

I’ve never seen The King of Comedy, but it sound pretty dark and creepy. Tim Heidecker just listed it as one of his favorite cringe-worthy movies so I better check it out.

Bonus: De Niro looks great with a steesh.