Monthly Archives: January 2012

What If They Grew A Steesh: Kendrick Perkins

If you are looking for Kendrick Perkins today, you might want to look for a guy with one of those hokey glasses/mustache disguises. He’s going to be in hiding after the dunk Blake Griffin threw down on him last night.

Harve Presnell

Harve Presnell is the Golden Globe-winning actor best known for his role as William H. Macy’s father-in-law in Fargo, or if you’ve only seen Fargo once like me, you might remember him as Preston Blake in Mr. Deeds.

Harve was also on Andy Barker, P.I. which you can inexplicably watch online through Xfinity.

Conrad Waldorf

Conrad Waldorf shares the stage left balcony box with Statler in the Muppet Theater. The two delight in heckling every aspect of  The Muppet Show.

Here’s what the two had to say after reading this website:

Waldorf: That was wonderful!
Statler: Bravo!
Waldorf: I loved it!
Statler: That was great!
Waldorf: Well, it was pretty good.
Statler: Well, It wasn’t bad.
Waldorf: There were parts that weren’t pretty good, though.
Statler: It could’ve been a lot better.
Waldorf: I didn’t really like it.
Statler: It was pretty terrible.
Waldorf: It was bad.
Statler: It was awful!
Statler & Waldorf: Terrible! Eh, boo!

Alphonso Ribeiro

Carlton Banks, Fresh Prince

Alphonso Ribeiro is probably known best for playing Carlton Banks on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I think he should be known best for being in a Pepsi commercial with Michael Jackson and making it out untouched.

Somebody with more time than me was able to make a .gif of the time Alphonso learned he would have to shave his mustache on The Fresh Prince:

Edit: I guess this only works if you click the picture.

Paul F. Tompkins

Paul F. Tompkins is a human being who tells jokes and does fun voices. You might have seen him in Mr. Show, Best Week Ever, or as wikipedia puts it, when he “starred in P.T. Anderson‘s There Will Be Blood (2007) as a character named Prescott.”
If none of these shows are ringing a bell for you, why not get a TV?

You might also know him from the podcast world. If you have listened to a podcast in the last 3 years, it doesn’t matter which one, you have heard him. Even if you didn’t know it was him. Trust me. You can keep saying you haven’t heard him, but you have. You can trust me.

Look, let’s stop fighting and just agree that this guy has a nice cookie duster, ok?

Facebook Page Now Available

I made a Steeshbook page a few months ago, but haven’t really done much to publicize it. It now has a nice collection of posts on it, so I think it’s worth following. You’ll get the same updates you would on twitter without those pesky spambots that “want to sex with you, with much love.”

Please share this link with anyone you think might enjoy it. The more followers I get, the more money I make ($0.00 per follower).

What If They Grew A Steesh: Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel

Seal, who has just a ridiculously long name, is reportedly divorcing his supermodel wife of six years, Heidi Klum. It looks like Seal might be trying to go incognito with this fake mustache I just photoshopped on him, but as you can see the white women have wasted no time following him around now that he is available again.

Drew Peterson

Drew Peterson seems like a real sick bastard. He’s probably killed 2 women and maybe they are looking for one of them? His wikipedia page is pretty long. Feel free to google him and play Sherlock Holmes for the afternoon. I’ve got work to do. I would however, make the suggestion that if they are looking for a body they check the bags under his eyes.

This creep is currently in the news because Lifetime, a channel that specializes in making movies exactly like this guys life story, has made a movie about his life story. Rob Lowe of all people was cast as the ever so hansom Peterson.

Bonus picture:

Ted Turner

For the man who can afford anything – a mustache! A brief check of wikipedia tells me that his nickname is “The Mouth (Awning) of the South.” I can’t confirm or deny that, but when has wikipedia ever been wrong in the past?

As an added bonus, here is a picture of Will Forte as Ted Turner making almost the same exact face:

Bill Murray

I’ve been slacking on getting some new steeshes up on the site lately. Now that Joe Flacco is out of the playoffs and people aren’t going to be googling his mustache anymore, I’ll need to actually try to get some site visitors.

Add to this, my coworker just read me the complete small print of a Panda Express coupon, and you can see why I might want to burn a little clock early in the work week.

So… Bill Murray. I’m a little embarrassed it’s taken this long to get such a glorious picture of a great actor up on the page. Enjoy.