Monthly Archives: May 2012

Rudy Eugene – Face Eater

Rudy Eugene Miami Face eating

We have a number of really creepy people displayed on this site. Serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer and The BTK Killer are two of the most viewed. Rudy Eugene  now joins them.

Rudy was the Miami man shot when police demanded he stop eating the face of another man and he refused. I refuse to post that picture, but if you’re into that sort of thing, you can find it on the interweb. I accidentally saw it when someone posted it on Facebook. I can’t imagine I’ll ever forget it.

Nick Offerman: American Ham

My favorite steeshed gentleman, Nick Offerman (how could you not want to see him with that pig w/ a mustache), will be in Chicago for the Just for Laughs Festival presented by TBS. The festival runs from June 12-17 all across Chicago. The schedule can be found here.

If you are in Chicago, I suggest you check out some of these talented steeshed comedians. If you can’t make it, you can check back here for updates. I’m hitting the streets to bring you the inside scoop from the funniest staches of our generation. I’ll post some previews next week and reviews the week of the festival.

I hope people enjoy this stuff as much as I do, and for the weirdos that come here just for pictures of women with mustaches, I’ll try to see Amy Schumer and Sarah Silverman and give them the steesh treatment.

Derek Holland

Derek Holland, starting pitcher for the Texas Rangers, decided to shave his mustache the other day. Big mistake, apparently, as he was roughed up for 8 runs without finishing the second inning last night. We can rest comfortably knowing that the steesh gods are keeping an eye on us.

Ernie Camacho

Ernie pitched for the Cleveland Indians in the 1980’s. He was quoted as asking, “were there any black catchers in the Negro League.” So he wasn’t the brightest guy around.

He also blamed a loss on a tired arm from signing 100 pictures before a game.

Christopher Murney

Who can forget Christopher Murney as the mailroom boss in the Michael J. Fox vehicle, The Secret of My Succe$s. Upon further investigation, Christopher has also voiced Chester Cheetah.

Cosmo G. Spacely

Cosmo G. Spacely is the man in charge of Spacely Space Sprockets on the television show, The Jetsons. Spacely is constantly firing George Jetson & then eventually hiring him back. It’s sad to see that even in the future, your boss is still going to be a real dick.

Baxter Black

Baxter Black is a cowboy, philosopher, and former veterinarian who hosts a syndicated radio show. With that enormous broom on his face, listening to him speak would be the only way of knowing that he actually had a mouth. Wikipedia claims he’s a true cowboy because Black doesn’t own a fax machine. Using their logic, 99% of the country is a cowboy then.

Led Zeppelin 2 (the man)

A man who legally changed his name to Led Zeppelin 2 has passed away.

In the article, his daughter talked about the name change: “My mom says that he talked about it for probably five years before the divorce.”

I commend the woman for sticking with him that long.


Danny Masterson

If you’ve watched an NBA game in the last 2 months, in between the games and the commercials for Franklin and Bash, you’ve seen the commercials for Men at Work. Masterson is one of the leads.

I’m not saying this won’t be good (it won’t), I’m just saying Men at Work as already been taken twice – once by an Australian band and once by a watchable movie from 1990. It’s time to step up your game, people that we depend on to entertain us.

Larry Bird

Larry Bird, the man that is pictured above with a blonde mustache, called the Indiana Pacers “soft” after they lost to the Miami Heat last night by 32. A funny thing to say for someone whose mustache has the subtitle “Ghost Protocol”, I’d have to assume.

Personally I’d like both of these teams to beat the shit out of each other. I can’t stand either of them. I’d describe how horrible they are, but my articulate cousin already had this to say, “You know the Heat are a bunch of turd cutters when everyone is cheering for the Pacers who are a solid collection of dildos themselves.”

Weird Al Yankovic

I really liked Weird Al when I was a kid. His songs kept me entertained for hours. I lost interested as I grew older but I’ve heard him interviewed recently and he seems like a nice guy. Paul F. Tompkins also told a great story in his last hour special about meeting Weird Al for the first time. I suggest you check out Laboring Under Delusions as it’s good, and Paul has a nice steesh himself.

We Salute You: Newburgh Free Academy would like to salute the Newburgh Free Academy. This school honored a former teacher with “Fake Mustache Friday.” There is no greater tribute.

The students & faculty also plan on commemorating this former teacher with a memorial bench. We have a suggestion:

Ram Singh Chauhan

World's Longest Mustache

In November, we had a post about Badamsinh Juwansinh Gurjar and his World’s Longest mustache. Today I’m terrified to tell you that someone has broken this record.

Ram Singh Chauhan of India has the world’s longest mustache, 14 feet, according to the Guinness Book of World Records.

Robert E. Evans

Robert Emory Evans (July 15, 1856 – July 8, 1925) was a Nebraska Republican politician, and are you flat out kidding me with that mustache?! I bet he was an umpire in his spare time and used that thing to dust off the plate between innings.

Pops from the Muppets

Pops was the stage doorman for the Muppet Theater. He was supposed to greet the guests when they first arrived — though the nearsighted and forgetful Pops invariably needed to ask “Who’re you?” in his slight country accent.

In the years since the Muppet Show, it’s been theorized that Pops was not nearsighted at all, rather he was blinded by his out of control steesh but refused to trim it because he liked the way it looked.