Monthly Archives: June 2012

Enjoy Your Weekend

Stachify: The Mustache Camera

If you can afford a fancy phone but can’t grow a fancy mustache, the people at Steeshify Stachify have you covered. You can download their app, which is billed to be “like Instagram, but for mustaches.” Sure it is.

You will have to pay $0.99 for Stachify, but it might be worth it. I would download it to try it out, but in the past I got burned by iTunes because they store your credit card information and Internet gypsies are ruthless.

William Leer

Olympic hopeful, William Leer, sported a steesh yesterday at a trial run. No surprise to any of us here, Leer won the race. This of course will always be breaking news for a site like this, but I don’t quit understand why it was reported on the New York Times website.

This gave me an idea that seems great right now, but I’ll regret later this summer. I think I’ll try to post at least one former or current mustached Olympian per day throughout the 2012 Olympic Games. It shouldn’t be that difficult. They had the Olympics in the 70’s and 80’s, right?

The Party by La Pieta (Summer Hours)

The Party is a song by a band called La Pieta, who I believe has changed their name to Summer Hours. My sister introduced me to this song about 7 years ago and it stuck with me because it mentions a man with a mustache. I’m easily amused.

Have a listen.

John Belushi

John Belushi was a comedian, actor, and musician. He is best known as a cast member on Saturday Night Live and for his roles in movies like Animal House and The Blues Brothers. He was the older brother of Jim Belushi, who has not been afraid to ride his brother’s coattails, even years after John’s death.

Of course John died of a drug overdose on March 5, 1982. I never realized until now that someone was charged for murder in his death, though later the charge was reduced to manslaughter, for shooting the drugs into John.

Drugs are horrible, even if you’re just the one pumping them into your friends.

Darren Aronofsky

Darren Aronofsky is the director of such films as Requiem for a DreamThe Wrestler and Black Swan, among others. I have no doubt in my mind that this mustache was grown during the filming of Black Swan, specifically during the time he directed the erotic scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.

Mustached Blowup doll at a Chicago Nightclub

Image

The shot above is courtesy of the Redeye, a free newspaper in Chicago that doubles as a homeless blanket.  If you thought the Chicago club scene was all about blow and girls hemorrhaging their father’s bank accounts, you’re right….but don’t forget to add blow dolls of Middle Eastern men with mustaches.

Believe it or not, this is one of the best photos of the night, according to the Redeye. It actually said, “This is how you kick off summer.”

The real winner in this picture is the girl who covered herself up with the doll. Bravo.

More Tobias Funke Dolls

We posted a picture of a Tobias Funke doll last week. I wasn’t really sure where it came from, but it appears it’s from an art gallery in L.A.

The opening of the exhibit is this Friday, June 29th. If you’re in L.A. and you aren’t going to any cocaine-filled, hooker parties, why not check it out. If you’re going to the fake party that Hollywood has created in my head, why not try to stop by the gallery before it starts.

Jimmy Kimmel

I haven’t been on twitter in a while, but just signed on and came across this picture of Jimmy Kimmel with a mustache. Or a fake mustache. But I don’t care either way. I like Jimmy Kimmel so here he is with a real or a fake mustache.

Ed Westwick

 

Ed Westwick is an actor who is currently sporting a wispy mustache. His mustache is put together as poorly as the plot and dialogue of the show he’s on, “Gossip Girl.” I’ve heard, anyways. I’ve never watched the program. I swear.

What If They Grew A Steesh: Khloe Kardashian

It’s amazing that someone can make their whole family famous by releasing a “celebrity” sex-tape with someone who isn’t very famous in the first place. But here I am posting a picture of this woman whose sister had sex with a guy named Ray J.

 

What If They Grew A Steesh: Aubrey Plaza

Happy Birthday to Aubrey Plaza, who is also on Parks and Recreation. When I googled her name, the first related search was “Aubrey Plaza legs.” So congratulations, internet perverts.

Anders Holm

Anders Holm is part of the Mail Order Comedy group and co-creator/co-star of the underrated show “Workaholics” on Comedy Central. The show follows the hijinks of 3 friends / coworkers / roommates as they get high and somehow keep their jobs.

Here’s his best scene, in my humble opinion:

Ben Affleck

Ben Affleck Glory Daze

Ben Affleck often gets a lot of shit for his acting skills, and it probably stems from movies like Glory Daze. I caught five minutes of this yesterday and only kept it on because I was trying to identify Sam Rockwell. He was also in Pearl Harbor, as we all know is unwatchable.

But look, he’s been in a few good movies. And who am I to say what is a good movie anyway. I own Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star. No joke. I can go home and watch it right now. So never listen to anything I say about movies again.

Walter Cronkite

Walter Cronkite was an American broadcast journalist, best known as anchorman for the CBS Evening News.  He was once considered to be “the most trusted man in America.” I believe that title now lies with Jack MacBrayer.

Here are some of the things he covered:
World War II
The Nuremberg trials
Vietnam War
Watergate
Iran Hostage Crisis
President John F. Kennedy’s death
Martin Luther King, Jr.’s death
The Beatles musician John Lennon’s death
Extensive TV coverage of the U.S. space program

One thing that didn’t get extensive coverage is his upper lip. Though Walter did have a steesh, it appears his eyebrows provided more coverage than his mustache.

Happy Birthday Nick Offerman

I know we don’t get a chance to post enough about Nick Offerman, but today is his birthday. So here he is with a very large turkey leg.

Enjoy your birthday:

Wallace Beery

Wallace Beery quit the circus after being attacked by a leopard and became an actor. He eventually became an Oscar winning actor who was in over 232 films in the 1910s, 20s & 30s. I’m sure you’ve never seen any of the films he’s been in, unless of course Tyler Perry has remade about 50 of them as I suspect.

John Wayne Gacy

When I was checking the statistics on the website, an awful lot of you are searching for serial killers (Ed. note – Any number above 0 is deemed “an awful lot” when it comes to serial killers).

The above picture is John Wayne Gacy. I didn’t want to get into full detail of John Wayne Gacy’s activities because the FBI tracks that sort thing and I wouldn’t last long in prison.

Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi, was the preeminent leader of Indian nationalism in British-ruled India. Employing non-violent civil disobedience, Gandhi led India to independence and inspired movements for non-violence, civil rights and freedom across the world. He also looks a little bit like…

Ambrose Burnside

Ambrose Burnside was an American soldier, railroad executive, inventor, industrialist, politician from Rhode Island, and a Union Army general. More importantly, the sideburn is named after him. Pretty impressive stuff here. Thank you to Elizabeth for submitting this steesh.

Reason I like this picture:
The way his facial hair travels up his face and blends into his horse shoe, it appears as if his mustache has taken over his head.

Reason I don’t like this picture: 
Every picture taken before 1900 is creepy.  It’s impossible for one to look normal. These people had to sit still for minutes at a time or they would ruin the picture. Also, he’s probably not wearing pants, and there’s no way to prove otherwise.