Monthly Archives: November 2012

Steesh In A Box – Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake

Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake sported steeshes in the SNL Digital Short, Dick in a Box. I saw this for the first time in a while last night and it still made me laugh. I don’t know what’s harder to believe – that it’s been around for 6 year and that I still laugh at penis jokes.

Horatio Magellan Crunch

Horatio Magellan Crunch is the cartoon mascot more commonly known as Cap’n Crunch for the cereal of the same name. And because I think we can all agree that Cap’n Crunch is the Shakespeare of cereals that cut up the roof of your mouth, it is only appropriate that he follows W.S.’s post from earlier today.

William Shakespeare – “Steesh of Avon”



William Shakespeare is perhaps the greatest English playwright there ever was. His work that has survived the 400+ years since his death consist of about 38 plays, 154 sonnets, and two long narrative poems.

And THANK GOD they survived. I’m sure when William was on his deathbed he urged people to carefully archive his work so that one day Mekhi Phifer and Julia Stiles could bring Othello to an American basketball court in the 2001 Hollywood smash-hit O.

Michael B. Jordan – Steeshes Of The Wire

Michael B. Jordan played Wallace on The Wire. He was a pit boy until his family moved to Dillon, TX where he would go on to have a successful High School Football career.

Wood Harris – Steeshes of The Wire

Wood Harris played Avon Barksdale on The Wire. Avon is the dominant drug dealer of Baltimore’s West Side where he takes care of the towers and the pit. His second in command is Stringer Bell, who took over for Gerry Bertier when he was paralyzed in a car accident and could no longer provide the muscle needed to keep respect on the street.

UPDATE: I accidentally had a typo in the subject. It said ‘Word Harris’ instead of ‘Wood Harris.’ I don’t blame myself because either is an absurd name for a human being.

Benicio Del Toro – Savagesteesh

Benicio Del Toro had a pretty nice steesh in the movie Savages. He plays a ruthless member of a Mexican drug cartel who has no problem kicking around a severed head like a soccer ball. While Del Toro is good in this role, it’s difficult not to think of the horrible movie The Wolfman whenever I see him.

Demetri Martin – This Is A Mustache

Thanksgiving is great because people make me food and then I have 4 days off. That’s enough for me. The rest of the weekend I laid around watching things. One of those things was Important Things with Demetri Martin, which was a short-lived but funny show on Comedy Central. You can watch it for free on Netflix if you’ve already paid for Netflix.

Enjoy Your Thanksgiving: Bacon Wrapped Turkey Edition

Don’t waste another perfectly good holiday. Eat a bacon wrapped turkey leg tomorrow! Happy Thanksgiving.

Holiday Tip: Pack a steeshcomb to de-crumb your duster after your feast.

What If They Grew A Steesh: Julia Child

I heard on the radio this morning that today was Julia Child’s 100 birthday. So I got into work and made this photo. I thought it would be great to share on her 100th birthday, which is the day before Thanksgiving. Everyone will be getting in the cooking mode. After I made it, I found out that it is in fact NOT her birthday, but she would have been 100 years old and it’s kind of fun to look at. Enjoy!

Dr. Peter Ostrum

Dr. Peter Ostrum is a veterinarian in Lowville, New York. He has a wife named Loretta, a son named Leif, a daughter named Helenka and mustache named Beautiful.

Of course you might also recognize Peter as Charlie Bucket from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. Peter ditched acting with just one credit to his name. Talk about going out on top. I like to think he has a mustache to honor Grandpa Joe.

Jeremy Renner Is Kind of Short

After watching Saturday Night Live this week, with host Jeremy Renner, I had two lasting thoughts. First he surprised me with his signing voice which was very good, and then he surprised me by how short he was. Here he is with a mustache in a sketch that didn’t even air on the show. I know this post isn’t glamorous, but it’s all I got.

Bill Murray Has Still Got It

Bill Murray, who is no stranger to a nice mustache, has done it again. This picture comes from a site called The Twitter. The woman in the picture is Tichina Arnold, the Everybody Hates Chris actress and wife of St. Johns men’s basketball assistant coach Rico Hines.

In 2012, few people can get away with a floppy hat. Bill Murray is one of them.

The Office Does Movember – Pete (Jake Lacy) & Clark (Clark Duke)

Clark and Pete are new to The Office in season 9. They don’t deserve separate posts (because I’m lazy). I’ve never heard of Jake Lacy but Clark Duke was a part of my favorite web series. He was on Clark and Michael with Micheal Cera. You should watch it.

The Office Does Movember – Kevin (Brian Baumgartner)

Brian Baumgartner plays Kevin Malone on The Office. He doesn’t have a lot of acting credits. This is kind of interesting though:

“On July 8, 2008, Baumgartner appeared with the rest of the cast of The Office on Celebrity Family Feud, in which his team triumphed over the American Gladiators team.”

I am as amazed as you that in 2008 there were 5 American Gladiators still alive.

The Office Does Movember – Toby (Paul Lieberstein)

Last night on The Office: An American Workplace Toby rallied the gentlemen to grow steeshes for prostate cancer. And with that, I have a theme for the day.

Toby, who is pretty much the original Jerry from Parks and Rec in terms of being picked on, is played by Paul Lieberstein who is no slouch. He is the show’s writer, director, producer and showrunner.

Matthew McConaughey Is Preparing For A Role In Your Nightmares

Matthew McConaughey is slimming down to play the role of an AIDS patient in a movie called The Dallas Buyers Club. I wouldn’t ever say that someone suffering from AIDS looks creepy because it’s heartless and cruel, but an actor can look creepy – especially when we know how good he can look with mustache.

Andrew Bynum Finally Wigs Out Due To Injury

The injured Andrew Bynum avoided every mirror last night before sitting with the 76ers bench. Bynum, who was traded over the off-season from the Lakers, has completely lost it and doesn’t care how creepy he looks is trying to bring some west coast style back east.

Chris Cooper in Adaptation.

Today is really creeping by so I’ve decided to find some creepy steeshes that will get me through the day. Here is Chris Cooper as John Laroche the orchid poaching, porn entrepreneur from Adaptation. I didn’t even realize that Chris Cooper was playing this guy until I looked it up.

Adam Pally – Steeshy Endings

Adam Pally plays Max Blum on Happy Endings. He also played Young Hollywood Douchebag on Californication in 2007 and 2011. I don’t remember that, but I bet Adam does, because I’m sure if you are on a TV show you remember being on it. I know I would!

Much like his co-star Damon Wayans, when you google, Adam the first recommendation after just his name is “adam pally gay.” This at least makes a little sense because his character on Happy Endings is gay. It’s still a weird obsession that googlers have.

 

Damon Wayans Jr. – Steeshy Endings

Damon Wayans Jr. is just another talented member of the Wayans family. Here he is as Brad Williams from the television show Happy Endings. It’s a pretty funny show. He made his film debut when he was cast in his father’s 1994 feature film Blankman playing Young Kevin, which is fun to know.

When you google him the first recommendation after just his name is “damon wayans jr gay.” How many people have to google that for it to be second on the list? Why do people care? Is he? Are you?

Anthony Davis’ Face Is A Math Equation

Anthony Davis is the first round pick of the 2012 NBA draft by the New Orleans Hornets. It appears that Anthony not only has a mustache above his lip, he has one about his eyes.

His face is also a math equation.  His mouth is greater than his nose plus his eyes which is less than his forehead – mouth > (nose + eyes) < forehead.

Kevin Clash – Upper Lip Tickler Me Elmo


It seems wrong that just because Elmo puppeteer, Kevin Clash, was accused of an affair with a teenage boy, he has to take a leave from his job – mainly because after an investigation the claims proved to be false. It turns out that Clash was involved with a teenage boy but he was probably 18 years old at the time.

Hey, you know what else seems wrong? An adult in their 40s having a relationship with a child in their teens, whether they’re 16 or 18. In this case, it’s even creepier when you think that throughout the young man’s entire life Elmo existed. He may have even had his very own Tickle Me Elmo.