Author Archives: Johnny Gerkins

Movie Poster Mustache- Death Wish 5: The Steesh of Death

charles bronson mustache

Or Death Wish V, if you want to get fancy.

“No judge.
No jury.
No appeals.
No deals.”

Now that’s a movie tagline, fit for a steeshed vigilante.

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Mustache for Charity

mustache for charity

Ebay has everything for sale. You want proof? A man is selling his mustache for charity. Instead of just donating the money straight to the charity like a normal human being, this fella is shaving his mustache, recreating it on pictures of himself, and sending some lucky(?) winning bidder the photos. When it’s done for charity, it’s a noble cause. When it’s done with no charitable donation involved, this man is arrested. Fine line.

Whiskered Cliff – Cliff Curtis

cliff curtis pablo escobar

cliff curtis mustache

Cliff Curtis is an actor from New Zealand who specialized in hispanic steeshed characters in the year 2001. In Training Day, Curtis played Smiley, a mexican gangleader. In Blow, Curtis played Pablo Escobar, drug lord of Columbia.

Whiskered Cliff – Cliff Levingston

New Rainmen coach, Cliff Livington.

Cliff “Good News” Levingston carried the Chicago Bulls to 2 NBA Championships in the early 90s.

Here’s a weird fact about Cliff:

“In 1986, while playing for the Hawks, Levingston had the rare distinction of “fouling into” an NBA game in a game. In a game where Dominique Wilkins and Antoine Carr were injured, Kevin Willis, Scott Hastings, Spud Webb and Levingston fouled out of the game. After Doc Rivers was ejected, the Hawks were down to only four players. Under an obscure rule, Levingston, the last player to foul out, was allowed to come back into the game at the cost of a technical foul.”

The Hawks decided to pass when they realized Cliff would be coming back in and just played with 4.

Whiskered Cliff – Jimmy Cliff

jimmy cliff mustache

Legend of reggae? Big deal. Hakuna Matata from the Lion King? Who cares. Sang on the soundtrack of Cool Runnings, starring John Candy? Now you have my full attention.

Steeshes.com covers the Fiscal Cliff – Whiskered Cliff with Cliff Burton

Cliff Burton mustache

Cliff Burton was the bassist for Metallica before he died in 1986. If Cliff were alive today, I’d imagine he’d have written several Op-Ed pieces for the Wall Street Journal on the insustainability of our government to function for the people with the callous and irresponsible way in which they conduct business. Or maybe he’d just spit in John Boehner’s face. Either way, ya know?