Category Archives: Criminal Steesh

Happy Steesh-O-Ween

I sure I wish I had time to make some new Horror Movie Villains with steeshes, but it’s not possible. So today I’ll shares some of my favorite scary, creepy or Halloween themed steeshes:

A More Efficient Michael Myers

Michael Myers on a segway

 

Continuing with our horror theme for today, here is something that came up after a discussion I had about how Michael Myers could be much more efficient in his killings if he took the time to get himself a ride. I suggested a bike, a friend suggested a segway, and that was that.

Joseph Aniska – Boardwalk Steeshpire

Joseph Aniska Mustache Boardwalk Empire

I saved up Boardwalk Empire Season 3 for a rainy weekend, and this past weekend was a regular hurricane (I stayed at my Mom’s where there is no television service). So naturally I was able to cruise through the entire thing. Not only was it a great season, there were a couple of nice steeshes.

What can be said about Joseph Aniska that wasn’t said in his IMDB description. It says, “Actor” and that’s exactly how we all think of him. Joseph plays Agent Stan Sawicki, who is getting paychecks from both the government and Nucky. Two paychecks?! What a smart idea for this guy. That’s double the money of one paycheck!

Michael B. Jordan – Steeshes Of The Wire

Michael B. Jordan played Wallace on The Wire. He was a pit boy until his family moved to Dillon, TX where he would go on to have a successful High School Football career.

Wood Harris – Steeshes of The Wire

Wood Harris played Avon Barksdale on The Wire. Avon is the dominant drug dealer of Baltimore’s West Side where he takes care of the towers and the pit. His second in command is Stringer Bell, who took over for Gerry Bertier when he was paralyzed in a car accident and could no longer provide the muscle needed to keep respect on the street.

UPDATE: I accidentally had a typo in the subject. It said ‘Word Harris’ instead of ‘Wood Harris.’ I don’t blame myself because either is an absurd name for a human being.

Benicio Del Toro – Savagesteesh

Benicio Del Toro had a pretty nice steesh in the movie Savages. He plays a ruthless member of a Mexican drug cartel who has no problem kicking around a severed head like a soccer ball. While Del Toro is good in this role, it’s difficult not to think of the horrible movie The Wolfman whenever I see him.

What If They Grew A Steesh: Kathy Bates in Misery

Kathy Bates in Misery scares me more than Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger combined.

 

What If They Grew A Steesh: Freddy Krueger

Here’s Freddy Krueger with Tom Selleck’s mustache (slightly modified), because why not?

What If They Grew A Steesh: Michael Myers

 

I just remembered it’s Halloween! No one brought candy to work so I’m not really in the spirit. Here is a picture of Michel Myers from Halloween. I believe this comes from Halloween 4 since it’s the creepiest I could find that was easy to work with.

SNL Gillette Parody Makes Commercial Even Creepier

I mentioned months ago how much I disliked the Gillette commercials with Andre 3000 and Adrien Brody. Now SNL joined the party, and by joined the party I mean replicated the exact commercial only adding super creep Jerry Sandusky:

Randy Quaid

 

Randy Quaid who used to be known for his performances in the moving pictures is better known these days for his lawsuits and crimes. He’s gotten himself in so much trouble that he tried to move to Canada. Even after growing a mustache he was denied.

Oh and it’s his birthday! Happy Birthday, Randy!!!!

Mustache Bandit

 

Troy Mullner was nicknamed “The Mustache Bandit” after a string of robberies in Nevada earlier this year. He was just convicted of these crimes.

This guy is a yambag. First off, he thought putting a fake mustache on would make him harder to recognize. Wrong. A mustache will catch people’s attention and make them want to meet you. Get to know you.

Secondly, this guy is robbing Subway Sandwich shops and Radio Shack stores. It’s as if he sat down and planned out the places that would have the least amount of money in the drawers and decided to rob them. I’m surprised he didn’t try to rob a Handy Andy or Blockbuster.

 

Cuba Gooding Jr. – Show Me the Mustache

Famous people, especially Academy Award winning actors, are usually granted a few passes from the general public if they do something terrible. It’s a shame that Cuba Gooding Jr. used his passes on Boat Trip and Daddy Day Camp because he could use one after assaulting a woman in New Orleans.

According to everything I’ve read about the situation (which is about one third of that article above) Cuba Gooding Jr. became upset when people were taking pictures of him at a bar. He then put on a Winnie the Pooh costume and started yelling, “Show me the honey!!” When a bartender asked him to leave he slammed a  jar of honey on her head, thus resulting in the assault charge.

Again, I didn’t read the whole article so that might not be the exact story.

Jason Kidd

It’s not smart to drink and drive. Jason Kidd did just that this weekend, resulting in a smashed up car and an arrest. Luckily for him he didn’t kill himself or injury anyone. He’s been making millions of dollars for the last 18 years.  He has no excuse for not hiring a car service, or a helicopter, or a very large man to carry him around like Uncle Jack did in Arrested Development:

This article says that he was so drunk he needed to be carried to his car, so congratulations to the idiots who carried him out to his car and let him drive home.

John Wayne Gacy

When I was checking the statistics on the website, an awful lot of you are searching for serial killers (Ed. note – Any number above 0 is deemed “an awful lot” when it comes to serial killers).

The above picture is John Wayne Gacy. I didn’t want to get into full detail of John Wayne Gacy’s activities because the FBI tracks that sort thing and I wouldn’t last long in prison.

R. Allen Stanford Swindled $7 Billion, Will Only Spend 110 Years in Prison

R. Allen Stanford, who looks exactly like he should with a name like that, has been sentenced to 110 years in prison for stealing over $7 Billion. A gentleman named Juan who works at Yahoo can do a much better job of describing the circumstances behind this Ponzi scheme.

He looks happy in this picture. It must have been taken when he was wealthy, not when he was headed to prison to spend the rest of his life.

Henry Hill – Inspiration for Goodfellas

Henry Hill Goodfellas

RIP Henry Hill, inspiration for Ray Liotta’s character in Goodfellas. Henry  passed away yesterday of natural causes. Hill was a Lucchese crime family associate before becoming  an FBI informant when faced with possible corn-holing jail-time due to a narcotics charge.

Rudy Eugene – Face Eater

Rudy Eugene Miami Face eating

We have a number of really creepy people displayed on this site. Serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer and The BTK Killer are two of the most viewed. Rudy Eugene  now joins them.

Rudy was the Miami man shot when police demanded he stop eating the face of another man and he refused. I refuse to post that picture, but if you’re into that sort of thing, you can find it on the interweb. I accidentally saw it when someone posted it on Facebook. I can’t imagine I’ll ever forget it.

Darryl Keeton – Steeshed Grandfather Attacks Umpire

If you tried telling me the man pictured above attacked an umpire after a youth baseball game, I’d believe the second I heard “attacked.” And that’s just what this Alabama grandfather did. He now faces a felony charge and up to 10 years in prison for punching in umpire which resulted in a bloody nose.

He might want to consider shaving his mustache before he serves his time, as history shows a mustache will only make your more appealing in prison.

Jayson Williams

Jayson Williams Murder

Jayson Williams was an NBA player and a criminal. If you look at his wikipedia page, the list of crimes is longer than the list of his NBA accomplishments:

NBA
Drafted
Became good
Injury ended his career

Legal Incidents
Bar fight
Fired semiautomatic weapon
Manslaughter
Covered up a shooting
Suicide attempt
Bar fight
DWI

//
//

Viktor Bout a.k.a. Merchant of Death

Federal prosecutors say Bout should spend life in prison because he agreed “without hesitation and with frightening speed” to ship “a breathtaking arsenal of weapons,” including hundreds of surface-to-air missiles, machine guns and sniper rifles along with 10 million rounds of ammunition to men he believed represented a foreign terrorist organization willing to kill Americans in Colombia.”

Seems like it’s not much of a surprise that Buffalo Bill, from Silence of the Lambs, would go from skinning girls and making dresses out of them to selling weapons.