Category Archives: Old Man Steesh

Ettore Boiardi – Steesh Boyardee

Chef Boyardee Mustache

Ettore Boiardi was a remarkable chef. His company made and prepared millions of rations for American and Allied troops during World War II, and for his efforts he was awarded a gold star order of excellence from the United States War Department. It’s too bad then that he had to change the spelling of his name so us dumb Americans could pronounce it. 

Where The Steesh Have You Been?

Astors Fan Mustache

It’s been a while since I’ve posted because I’ve been traveling around watching the Astros or because I’ve been lazy and no one pays me to do this so why should I waste my time I’ve been busy at work. Above is a picture that Deadspin posted last week of an Astros fan with what can only be a very time-consuming mustache.

(N)ice Mustache

I saw this amazing mustache on this website. The description was this:

Austrian Army Master Sergant Siegfried Schaerzler has icicles in his moustache as he takes part in the international mountain infantrymen contest “Edelweiss Raid 2013” at the military training ground Lizum/Walchen in Wattens some 400 kilometers west of Vienna. — Dieter Nagl, AFP/Getty Images, March 14, 2013

I don’t have anything to say about it. I just wanted to share it.

Mustached Man Snags 70-Pound Bass

James Bramlett 70 pound striped bass

65-year-old Alabama resident James Bramlett, accompanied by his 43-year-old mustache caught a comically big fish this week. According to the this article, the fish weighed in at a whooping 70 pounds. The photograph looks completely fake because there’s no way this guy could hold up a fish that heavy until you realize it’s hanging from some type of blue rope.

We’d like to congratulate James on his big score. I hope he and his wife and his kids and his neighbors like eating bass. They are going to be eating it 3 meals a day for the next few months.

Who Is Going To Be The Next Pope?

Who is gong to be the next pope? No one knows, but if this guy shows up looking for the job I hope people realize it’s just Pope Benedict XVI with a steesh.

Why does the mustache cover his nose?  I made this picture in 2008 when me no good at Photoshop. Somehow I remember that the mustache belongs to Paul Teutul Sr., so I guess I haven’t had much going on over the last 5 years.

Jack Rebney – The Angriest Steesh In The World

Jack Rebney Mustache

Jack Rebney was called the Angriest Man In The World when a compilation of outtakes from a promotional video for Winnebago was leaked, first by people passing around VHS copies (haha) and then when it was put on youtube. Jack did not have a good time on this shoot. If you’ve never seen the expletive-filled outtakes, have a look:

If you’re like me and you enjoyed the video, and you still haven’t fallen asleep at 12:30 on what is now for sure going to be an exhausting Monday, why not catch Winnebago Man on Netflix. This documentary catches up with Jack to see if he’s still swearing (spoiler alert: HE IS).

Ron MacFarlane, Father of Seth, Haver of Mustache

Ron MacFarlane Mustache

I’d have to imagine that the father of Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, has a pretty good sense of humor. If Ron MacFarlane’s mustache is any indication, he has a great big fluffy sense of humor.

Seth MacFarlane tweeted today that his father has joined twitter (follow him for some strange reason @DadMacFarlane). My dad will never join twitter because “what’s the internet?”, but he’d be good at it because he doesn’t like leaving his house and he hates a lot of things.

 

After posting about David White yesterday I thought of another old rich man in an 80’s movie and that is Don Ameche as Mortimer Duke in Trading Places. Besides being a great name, he had a great steesh.

Don was no stranger to the small and big screen. He was in the Love Boat and later starred in the Cocoon movies. I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that he voiced Shadow in Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey.

Andy Reid Is Growing Out His Mustache Because He Can’t Grow Hair

 

Andy Reid, head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles and possible Yosemite Sam impersonator, has gone on record that he is growing out his mustache because he can no longer grow hair. I applaud him. Most older men who can no longer grow hair simply grow out their eyebrows and ear and nose hair.

Edmund Lyndeck – “Honey, your boner!”

Honey, your boner

Edmund Lyndeck was an English professor before he decided that 30 hour work weeks and summers off was not his ideal job, and so he became an actor. You might recognize him from his the 2000 Breckin Meyer vehicle Road Trip, where he played the pot smoking grandpa who wasn’t afraid to show off his boner.

He made his movie debut the year before in Adam Sandler’s Big Daddy, where he played an old drunk man. It never came up whether or not he was willing to show off his boner, but we’ll assume he was ok with it.

Big Daddy Clips:

(Not the best quality) Road Trip Clip:

Kumar Pallana

I don’t want to go a whole day without posting because then there wouldn’t be any new posts for the robots to spam – so here’s Kumar Pallana.

Kumar was the owner of a coffee shop where Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson hung out. He must have been a nice guy because they put him in their movie Bottle Rocket. And they must have like that performance as much as I did because he pops up in a Wes Anderson movie every few years.

Here’s a fun clip from Bottle Rocket where he doesn’t have a mustache but makes me laugh:

Miguel Angel Jimenez gets limber

Miguel Angel Jimenez is a professional golfer, getting paid millions upon millions of dollars to play the goofy “sport.”

Want to be like him? Sure, who wouldn’t. Here’s how he stretches before a round:

Rip Taylor

Over the weekend, I was trying to figure out what this site has been missing. I stepped away from my computer and returned only to find my roommate had pulled up Lemon Party in the browser. I knew immediately what we needed more of – old gay men.

So here’s Rip Taylor, who is famous for his real mustache, his fake hair, and his horrible jokes.

Baxter Black

Baxter Black is a cowboy, philosopher, and former veterinarian who hosts a syndicated radio show. With that enormous broom on his face, listening to him speak would be the only way of knowing that he actually had a mouth. Wikipedia claims he’s a true cowboy because Black doesn’t own a fax machine. Using their logic, 99% of the country is a cowboy then.

Pops from the Muppets

Pops was the stage doorman for the Muppet Theater. He was supposed to greet the guests when they first arrived — though the nearsighted and forgetful Pops invariably needed to ask “Who’re you?” in his slight country accent.

In the years since the Muppet Show, it’s been theorized that Pops was not nearsighted at all, rather he was blinded by his out of control steesh but refused to trim it because he liked the way it looked.

Darryl Keeton – Steeshed Grandfather Attacks Umpire

If you tried telling me the man pictured above attacked an umpire after a youth baseball game, I’d believe the second I heard “attacked.” And that’s just what this Alabama grandfather did. He now faces a felony charge and up to 10 years in prison for punching in umpire which resulted in a bloody nose.

He might want to consider shaving his mustache before he serves his time, as history shows a mustache will only make your more appealing in prison.

Robert Morse

After a pretty depressing day of posts yesterday, I’m sticking to some safe people who I have no problems with. Robert is most famous for being in musicals I’ve never seen. He plays Bertram “Bert” Cooper in Mad Men, which I find to be a delightful show. Finally, his wikipedia page doesn’t have a “crimes committed” section. He’s aces in my book.

Calumet 412 is a Steesh Heaven

I came across a tumblr page the other day called Calumet 412. It’s a great feed of historic pictures throughout Chicago and the surrounding areas. There was some sort of rule before the advent of color film that if you wanted to be photographed you had to have a mustache. Here are some of my favorites, but check out the site for all them.

Conrad Waldorf

Conrad Waldorf shares the stage left balcony box with Statler in the Muppet Theater. The two delight in heckling every aspect of  The Muppet Show.

Here’s what the two had to say after reading this website:

Waldorf: That was wonderful!
Statler: Bravo!
Waldorf: I loved it!
Statler: That was great!
Waldorf: Well, it was pretty good.
Statler: Well, It wasn’t bad.
Waldorf: There were parts that weren’t pretty good, though.
Statler: It could’ve been a lot better.
Waldorf: I didn’t really like it.
Statler: It was pretty terrible.
Waldorf: It was bad.
Statler: It was awful!
Statler & Waldorf: Terrible! Eh, boo!

Ted Turner

For the man who can afford anything – a mustache! A brief check of wikipedia tells me that his nickname is “The Mouth (Awning) of the South.” I can’t confirm or deny that, but when has wikipedia ever been wrong in the past?

As an added bonus, here is a picture of Will Forte as Ted Turner making almost the same exact face:

Bill Erwin

Bill Erwin and his mustache appeared in 212 movies and TV shows throughout his career. Some of his more modern highlights were his guest spot on Seinfeld as well as his many small roles in John Hughes movies (Home Alone: “She’s got her own earrings, a whole shoe box full of them dangly ones.”)