Category Archives: R.I.P. Steesh

What If They Grew A Steesh: Harambe

Harambe Mustache_edited-1

 

RIP David “Deacon” Jones – The Sackman

David Deacon Jones Mustache RIP

David “Deacon” Jones died at the age of 74. Jones was a defensive end in the NFL who came up with the term “sack” for tackling the quarterback behind the line of scrimmage. It sounds like Jones might have killed a raccoon or two as a child based on his description of a sack.

“You take all the offensive linemen and put them in a burlap bag, and then you take a baseball bat and beat on the bag. You’re sacking them, you’re bagging them. And that’s what you’re doing with a quarterback.”

Randy Mario Poffo – “Macho Man” Randy Savage

Randy Macho Man Savage Cardinals Minor League

Randy “Macho Man” Savage died 2 years ago yesterday. He was of course the Slim Jim hawking WWF wrestler, but he also played minor league baseball from the time he was 18. Pretty impressive steesh for such a young man.

RIP Norbert Blei, Author and Steeshman

Norbert Blei Mustache Died

American writer Norbert Blei has passed away at the age of 78. He wrote 17 books of non-fiction, fiction, poetry and essays. Norbert was born in Chicago and attended Illinois State University which is in Bloomington-Normal. Coincidentally, I was there just the other weekend. While there I authored one of the must delicious cups of self-serve frozen yogurt you could ever imagine. Multiple flavors of frozen yogurt? Check. Ground up thin mints? Check. Cookie dough balls? Check. Reeses Pieces and Peanut Butter Cups? Check and Check. But I digress.

Rest in peace to Mr. Blei, who created some great pieces of art in his day that will live on well beyond his passing, even if it was overshadowed by a masterfully crafted frozen yogurt treat. I definitely should have taken a picture. Damn it.

RIP Allan Arbus – M(ust)*A*S*H

Allan Arbus Mustache M.A.S.H

Allan Arbus was a photography and actor, best known for playing Major Sidney Freedman on M*A*S*H. The New York Times described his character by saying, “He treated wounds of the psyche much as Capt. Hawkeye Pierce treated surgery patients: with a never-ending string of zingers.” He’s probably glad he was unable to read that. Rest in peace and rest in steesh.

Ettore Boiardi – Steesh Boyardee

Chef Boyardee Mustache

Ettore Boiardi was a remarkable chef. His company made and prepared millions of rations for American and Allied troops during World War II, and for his efforts he was awarded a gold star order of excellence from the United States War Department. It’s too bad then that he had to change the spelling of his name so us dumb Americans could pronounce it. 

Rest In Peace – Paul Bearer

Paul Bearer Mustache

Bill Moody, better known as Paul Bearer has passed away. No official word on a cause of death but we’ve all been assuming it would be a heart attack since we first saw him in the early 90’s. Rest in Peace Paul. You were a great entertainer and had amazing facial expressions.

Sad mustache news: Upper Deck baseball cards co-founder Richard McWilliam has died

richard mcwilliam mustache

Richard McWilliam was a co-found of Upper Deck trading cards. Thanks to Richard McWilliam, I have about 10 copies of this card. I never opened a pack and found the elusive Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card, but I don’t hold that against you Richard. RIP Mr. McWilliam.

Movie Poster Mustache- Death Wish 5: The Steesh of Death

charles bronson mustache

Or Death Wish V, if you want to get fancy.

“No judge.
No jury.
No appeals.
No deals.”

Now that’s a movie tagline, fit for a steeshed vigilante.

Steeshes.com covers the Fiscal Cliff – Whiskered Cliff with Cliff Burton

Cliff Burton mustache

Cliff Burton was the bassist for Metallica before he died in 1986. If Cliff were alive today, I’d imagine he’d have written several Op-Ed pieces for the Wall Street Journal on the insustainability of our government to function for the people with the callous and irresponsible way in which they conduct business. Or maybe he’d just spit in John Boehner’s face. Either way, ya know?

Bob Ross – The Joy of Steeshing

 

On this day in 1942, quick-painter and beard/steeshman Bob Ross was born. He loved painting mountain ranges because he said they were like “Earth’s mustaches.”

Bob died in 1995 at the age of 52. Rest in Steesh.

Dock Ellis

Dock Ellis was a pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates who threw a no-hitter while high on LSD*. A no-hitter is hard enough to do, but to do it on LSD is amazing. It must have been real tough not to lose his shit while hallucinating on the mound.

*Dock Ellis never actually threw a no-hitter, but no one had the heart to tell him he was just high in the dugout.

Krzysztof Putra

Krzysztof Putra was a politician from the great country of Poland, but tragically died in a plane crash in April 2010. As Billy Joel said, “Only the incredibly steeshed die young.” At least that’s what I think he said. Billy Joel’s music is ear cancer.

England Dan & John Ford Coley

England Dan & John Ford Coley were a music group in the 1970s. They are known for their hit song “I’d Really Love to See You Tonight.”

In the song, Dan & John are real coy with their intentions when they call up a woman, claiming they’d be all right with just watching tv with them. But that long hair and mustache tell you otherwise, ladies. They’re coming over to get it on.

When my son or daughter asks me what the 1970s were like, I’ll simply show them a picture of the England Dan & John Ford Coley album above. Seems accurate.

Ernest Borgnine has died at the age of 95

Ernest Borgnine, long time actor & Oscar winner (presumably for BASEketball), has died at the age of 120. He made appearances in over 200 films and television shows. Rest in peace, you cuddly looking fella.

John Belushi

John Belushi was a comedian, actor, and musician. He is best known as a cast member on Saturday Night Live and for his roles in movies like Animal House and The Blues Brothers. He was the older brother of Jim Belushi, who has not been afraid to ride his brother’s coattails, even years after John’s death.

Of course John died of a drug overdose on March 5, 1982. I never realized until now that someone was charged for murder in his death, though later the charge was reduced to manslaughter, for shooting the drugs into John.

Drugs are horrible, even if you’re just the one pumping them into your friends.

Wallace Beery

Wallace Beery quit the circus after being attacked by a leopard and became an actor. He eventually became an Oscar winning actor who was in over 232 films in the 1910s, 20s & 30s. I’m sure you’ve never seen any of the films he’s been in, unless of course Tyler Perry has remade about 50 of them as I suspect.

Ambrose Burnside

Ambrose Burnside was an American soldier, railroad executive, inventor, industrialist, politician from Rhode Island, and a Union Army general. More importantly, the sideburn is named after him. Pretty impressive stuff here. Thank you to Elizabeth for submitting this steesh.

Reason I like this picture:
The way his facial hair travels up his face and blends into his horse shoe, it appears as if his mustache has taken over his head.

Reason I don’t like this picture: 
Every picture taken before 1900 is creepy.  It’s impossible for one to look normal. These people had to sit still for minutes at a time or they would ruin the picture. Also, he’s probably not wearing pants, and there’s no way to prove otherwise.

John Barrymore

John Barrymore is the actor of stage and screen, most notably as Hamlet and the starring role in 1920’s Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde. He also produced the producer of Drew Barrymore.

Henry Hill – Inspiration for Goodfellas

Henry Hill Goodfellas

RIP Henry Hill, inspiration for Ray Liotta’s character in Goodfellas. Henry  passed away yesterday of natural causes. Hill was a Lucchese crime family associate before becoming  an FBI informant when faced with possible corn-holing jail-time due to a narcotics charge.

Led Zeppelin 2 (the man)

A man who legally changed his name to Led Zeppelin 2 has passed away.

In the article, his daughter talked about the name change: “My mom says that he talked about it for probably five years before the divorce.”

I commend the woman for sticking with him that long.

 

Robert E. Evans

Robert Emory Evans (July 15, 1856 – July 8, 1925) was a Nebraska Republican politician, and are you flat out kidding me with that mustache?! I bet he was an umpire in his spare time and used that thing to dust off the plate between innings.