Tag Archives: Baseball

RIP Tony Gwynn

RIP Tony Gwynn Mustache

Tony Gwynn: Rest In Peace – Rest In Steesh

Tim Lincecum Grows A Mustache For Picture Day

Tim Lincecum Mustache 2014

Tim Lincecum, who I think looks like Ms. Gultch from The Wizard of Oz, grew a mustache for the San Francisco Giants photo day. It was a good effort, but it ended up looking like he forgot to wipe the Oreo crumbs from his upper lip.

Jose Valentin Wishes You A Happy Valentine’s Day

Jose Valentin Mustache

 

Jose Valentin played baseball for 15 years and made $36,997,024 doing so. I bet he buys his girlfriend the 2 pound heart-shaped box of chocolates. I could only afford the 1 pound. I’ll let you know how she handles the news.

Randy Mario Poffo – “Macho Man” Randy Savage

Randy Macho Man Savage Cardinals Minor League

Randy “Macho Man” Savage died 2 years ago yesterday. He was of course the Slim Jim hawking WWF wrestler, but he also played minor league baseball from the time he was 18. Pretty impressive steesh for such a young man.

Carlos Villanueva – Currently the Best Tickler in Baseball

Carlos Villanueva Mustache Cubs

Carlos Villanueva is a pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. He’s had a terrific start to the season thus far and it has absolutely everything to do with his stylish steesh. It’s refreshing to see a nice mustache on an MLB player after having to look at Joba Chamberlain and Ian Desmond during spring training.

Where The Steesh Have You Been?

Astors Fan Mustache

It’s been a while since I’ve posted because I’ve been traveling around watching the Astros or because I’ve been lazy and no one pays me to do this so why should I waste my time I’ve been busy at work. Above is a picture that Deadspin posted last week of an Astros fan with what can only be a very time-consuming mustache.

Jason Giambi Shows Young MLB Players What’s Up

Jason Giambi Mustache

“Hey Joba and Ian, if you’re going to have a weak mustache, take your shirt off and show the world your scary skull tattoo. This will draw attention from said weak mustache.”

– Jason Giambi

Ian Desmond – Getting Better Baseball Guys

Ian Desmond Mustache 2013

National’s shortstop Ian Desmond entered spring training with a decent lip cover, but compared to Joba Chamberlain he looks like Burt Reynolds.

Joba Chamberlain’s Mustache Is Pretty Sad

Joba Chamberlian Mustache 2013

For some reason, more than once in my youth, my mom dressed me up as a hobo for Halloween. Probably because it was an easy, affordable costume. I would wear old dirty clothes and my mom would put vaseline and coffee grounds on my face for a beard. It appears that’s what’s happening here with New York Yankee pitcher Joba Chamberlain’s mustache. He really ought to get a paper towel and wipe it clean as to stop embarrassing himself and real men with real mustaches.

Wade Boggs Hates Deer

Wade Boggs Mustache Dear Heads

Wade Boggs is a former MLB third baseman who played 18 years for Boston, New York and Tampa Bay. According to this picture he loves his family. I bet every night his family goes to bed thankful that they are not deer because Wade HATES DEER.

There are 8 dead deer in this picture alone. In addition, in the top right corner of the picture there is the head of what is either a bear or maybe even a dog. Still the most disturbing part of this picture has to be the jean shorts he’s allowed his son to wear while cameras are around.

This picture comes from @si_vault on twitter, which is a fun place for old sports pictures of all kinds.

Sad mustache news: Upper Deck baseball cards co-founder Richard McWilliam has died

richard mcwilliam mustache

Richard McWilliam was a co-found of Upper Deck trading cards. Thanks to Richard McWilliam, I have about 10 copies of this card. I never opened a pack and found the elusive Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card, but I don’t hold that against you Richard. RIP Mr. McWilliam.

Steesh Look-a-Likes: Jason Motte & Yukon Cornelius

 

Jason Motte – St. Louis Cardinals relief pitcher
Yukon Cornelius – Peppermint prospector from the 1964 television special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Keith Hernandez Shaved His Mustache and Probably Hates Puppies, Even The Ones Wearing Cute Outfits

 

 

 

Keith Hernandez soldout to Schick Hydro and shaved his mustache. He claims that he will donate $5000 to charity from the blood money Schick paid him, but can we believe him? Can we trust anything he says anymore?!

He once had one of the most recognizable mustaches in the game, but now he looks like a less intelligent Alex Trebek. I hope he enjoys his new life of obscurity and waiting in long lines to get a table at a restaurant.

Paul Konerko

Paul Konerko was one of the White Sox players who had a steesh last night. He didn’t look that weird. It basically made him look like a 1970s baseball players.

Kevin Hickey Honored by Whites Sox Players with Steeshes

 

I didn’t know anything about Kevin Hickey until last night when I was forced to watch the White Sox game at a fantasy football draft. Hickey never played high school baseball, but he was really good at 16 inch softball. He went from softball to semipro baseball, to pitching for the White Sox. For people who don’t know anything about baseball,  this is a remarkable accomplishment.

Hickey passed way earlier this year while working as the batting practice pitcher for the White Sox. He was honored by the team in a ceremony before the game last night, and many of the players wore mustaches as a sign of respect.

Barry Zito is wealthy, mustached

According to SI.com’s list of the top 50 earnings by individual athletes in the United States, Barry Zito is tied for 36th place with 20,000,000 dollars. Zito earned this money while pitching well for a different team over a decade ago. Zito was featured in the movie “Moneyball,” where a pitching staff of Hudson / Mulder / Zito carried the Oakland Athletics to the playoffs & the movie was not a story about how Scott Hatteberg and the trade of Jeremy Giambi carried the Oakland Athletics to the playoffs.

What If They Grew A Steesh: Erin Andrews

Erin Andrews is leaving ESPN after 8 years to join Fox Sports. After famously being stalked and videotaped in the nude in 2008 by some loon who followed her around the country, she was fed up with being sexually harassed at  ESPN by the likes of Chris Berman and Steve Phillips, I’m assuming.

Tim McClelland

Tim McClelland  has been a Major League Baseball umpire since 1983. He’s been a part of two no-hitters and two perfect games. He was the umpire who overturned a George Brett home run because he had too much pine tar on his bat. He was also the umpire that ejected Sammy Sosa for using a corked bat, which is pictured above.

Don Mattingly (shave those sideburns)

I didn’t intend for today to be baseball day, but for now it is. Don Mattingly spent a 14 year playing career as a Yankee. He is now managing the Dodgers. My memory of him will always be a cartoon.

Clay Zavada

Clay Zavada pitched for the Arizona Diamondbacks back in 2009. This has to be the best baseball mustache since Rollie Fingers.

I just googled Rollie Fingers to see if it really did compare and google had this little feature on the side of the page:

People also search for:

Steesh, steesh, steesh, steesh, steesh… Google is pretty amazing.

Derek Holland

Derek Holland, starting pitcher for the Texas Rangers, decided to shave his mustache the other day. Big mistake, apparently, as he was roughed up for 8 runs without finishing the second inning last night. We can rest comfortably knowing that the steesh gods are keeping an eye on us.

Ernie Camacho

Ernie pitched for the Cleveland Indians in the 1980’s. He was quoted as asking, “were there any black catchers in the Negro League.” So he wasn’t the brightest guy around.

He also blamed a loss on a tired arm from signing 100 pictures before a game.

Al Hrabosky

Al pitched for the Cardinals, Royals and Braves from 1970-1982. He is currently the color commentator for the Cardinals. He also owns a restaurant by Busch stadium called Al Hrabosky’s Ballpark Saloon, which seems appropriate since he looks like the crazy guy from every old west movie you’ve ever seen.

Deion Sanders

Deion Sanders is of course very well known because he had successful careers in both the NFL and MLB. By successful I mean he played in both, but there’s no way I’m going back to look at his numbers.

Deion is probably thankful for his years of practice multitasking. He’s better able to do his job as a commentator for the NFL during the draft this weekend, while going through a messy divorce.

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