Tag Archives: Moustache

The State Of Steeshes.com

Here’s what’s been going on, and some possible excuses for not having posted on this website for 8 months:

  • I got a new job
  • I don’t have Photoshop on my new work computer
  • There is actual work to do here
  • My desk is situated such that people can see what I am doing at all times, and I think a lot of coworkers take their shoes off because I never hear them coming up behind me.
  • I’m typing this in word and then I’m going to paste it in WordPress.
  • There are only so many people who have a mustache.
  • There is only so much you can say about how amazing each mustache is.
  • Any free time I encounter at work I spend listening to my office-mates talking about the weather.
  • This is something that was said just 1 minute ago, “It’s snowing outside. Was it supposed to snow today?”
  • If I had to guess, I’d say it was supposed to snow today seeing as it is snowing today..
  • It’s always cold in my office. Always.
  • I fear that my coworkers call me “Nips” or “PowerPoints” behind my back due to the previously mentioned cold conditions in my office.
  • How can my armpits sweat when it’s so cold in here?
  • I’m serious. I’ve used “prescription strength” antiperspirant before and that does nothing. It might have even made them more immune to other antiperspirants.
  • I often wear colors that mask the appearance of the sweat. I find white works best, and I make a point to only wear white shirts to weddings after a pretty embarrassing Blue-Shirt incident in the summer of 2011.
  • I moved.
  • I saw Nick Offerman’s American Ham again. I guess I really blew it by not posting about it.
  • I broke another toilet seat.

So yeah, things have been going on the past 8 months. You can understand why I haven’t posted anything.  I think I’ll start making some post soon that have to do with mustaches and whatever else seems like it might be appropriate.

RIP David “Deacon” Jones – The Sackman

David Deacon Jones Mustache RIP

David “Deacon” Jones died at the age of 74. Jones was a defensive end in the NFL who came up with the term “sack” for tackling the quarterback behind the line of scrimmage. It sounds like Jones might have killed a raccoon or two as a child based on his description of a sack.

“You take all the offensive linemen and put them in a burlap bag, and then you take a baseball bat and beat on the bag. You’re sacking them, you’re bagging them. And that’s what you’re doing with a quarterback.”

Zach Galifianakis Has A Mustache

Zach Galifianakis Mustache 2013

Zach Galifianakis, cousin or brother to Seth Galifianakis, trimmed his trademark beard into a mustache, accompanied by some chin-business. And I sure never imagined I’d be typing that sentence back in 2003 when I was a fresh-faced, wide-eyed freshman in college. The future was bright and I was going to really be something. But here we are.

For some reason I am getting a Bertram Cooper vibe from Zack here. Maybe if they make a Mad Men Babies he can play a young Bert.

Insert Me Anywhere: Tobias Fünke with Carl Weathers in Predator

Insert Me Anywhere Tobias Funke Predator

Action Hero Tobias with his acting coach Carl Weathers in Predator- Double Steesh!

Insert Me Anywhere: Tobias Fünke in The Big Chill

Insert Me Anywhere Tobias Funke Big Chill

I will get sick of this eventually but I haven’t yet.

Insert Me Anywhere: Tobias Fünke in Wild Hogs

Insert Me Anywere Tobias Funke Wild Hogs

This might just turn into an “Insert Me Anywhere” page for a while. Here’s Tobias with the cast of Wild Hogs 

Insert Me Anywhere: The Acting Styles of Dr. Tobias Fünke

Tobias Funke Insert Me Anywhere Mustache

Well this is pretty great. There is a new Arrested Development promotion out called Insert Me Anywhere and it features videos and pictures of Tobias Fünke (David Cross) in front of a green screen doing different stock characters for James Cameron to use in future movies. The list of characters include Cowpoke, Motorcycle Ruffian, Big Man on Campus (pictured above), along with a few more.

There are hours of fun to be had on this site. I wish I knew anything about editing video because there’s some opportunity there to get him in some fun situations. I had to settle for some photoshopping. Here’s Tobias’ Big Man on Campus character not giving a shit about the Saved by the Bell crew’s smashed up car:

Tobias Funke Saved By the Bell

Marc Maron and Dave Foley

Marc Maron and Dave Foley Mustache

Comedian and podcaster Marc Maron has a new show on Friday nights on IFC called Maron that has been on a for a few weeks. I was able to catch up on it this weekend and to my delight got to see both Maron and fellow comedian Dave Foley with a couple of nice steeshes.

Maron, much like Louis C.K.’s Louie, follows a fictionalized Maron. Even though it’s not as good as the old shows on the TGIF lineup, it pretty good entertainment for a Friday night show.

David Krumholtz – The Cereal King

David Krumholtz Mustache

David Krumholtz has appeared in 69 movies and tv shows since his debut in the 1993 Michael J. Fox movie Life With Mikey. Among other things, he was in The Santa Clause, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, and was even the lead in the show Numb3rs that lasted 6 seasons on CBS. Still, I remember him as Barry Corman “The Cereal King” from his first role. Sure he was kind of a jerk, but you have to respect any child that wears a scarf.

Mad (Steesh)Men – Charlie Hofheimer

Charlie Hofheimer Mustache Mad Men

Charlie Hofheimer plays Peggy Olsen’s boyfriend, Abe Drexler on Mad Men. He is a journalist/writer who basically just lives off Peggy. She just bought an apartment and he’s doing “some light remodeling.” I would do that for a free place to live. Hell, I had to do some light remodeling when I moved into my current apartment, like removing the door knob from my closet door and putting it on my roommate’s bedroom door because it was missing a knob. I wonder what kind of knob problems Abe is dealing with?

Mad (Steesh)Men – Ben Feldman

Ben Feldman Mustache Mad Men

Ben Feldman plays Michael Ginsberg on AMC’s Mad Men. Season 6 of Mad Men takes place in 1968 and as far as I can tell there was a Mustache Boom that year. Also it doesn’t really seem like people had to worry about matching their clothes, as evidence in the above picture. In the last episode a guy was wearing a sweater-turtleneck with a cardigan sweater over it. The double sweater is almost impossible to get away with these days.

What If They Grew A Steesh: Christina Hendricks

As I uploaded this picture I had a realization of just how weird the whole thing is. Today is Christina Hendricks’ birthday so I photoshopped a mustache on her?! Holy smokes! I mean I think I did a pretty good job and if she ever saw this there’d be a small chance she wouldn’t be creeped out, but in general this is the behavior of a full-on weirdo.

Oh, you’re a weirdo, too? Check out more What If They Grew A Steesh posts!

Phil “The Power” Taylor (SFW)

Phil Taylor Mustache Darts 60 Minutes

60 Minutes Sports had a very cool story on Professional Darts in England. According to the story, Phil “The Power” Taylor is the Michael Jordan of darts. All of his titles are too long to list, so go here if you have a lot of time on your hands (you do because you’re reading this already).

The above picture is a much younger Phil than he appears today, but you gotta love that quaffed hair/steesh/chest hair combo he was rocking back in the 80’s! Phil said he’s made millions of dollars over the years and his arm is insured for $15 million.

I’ve caught darts on tv a few times and it’s always exciting to hear the announcers and crowd going bananas, but the 60 Minutes piece made going to a darts match look more fun than any other sporting event I’ve ever attended.

25 More Days ‘Til Fresh Tobias Funke Steesh

Tobias Funke Mustache Netflix Ad

It once felt like it would never get here, but in reality time is just going at the same rate for ever so only a dummy would think that it would never get here. Anyway, we’ll get us some fresh Tobias coming our way on May 26th.

RIP Norbert Blei, Author and Steeshman

Norbert Blei Mustache Died

American writer Norbert Blei has passed away at the age of 78. He wrote 17 books of non-fiction, fiction, poetry and essays. Norbert was born in Chicago and attended Illinois State University which is in Bloomington-Normal. Coincidentally, I was there just the other weekend. While there I authored one of the must delicious cups of self-serve frozen yogurt you could ever imagine. Multiple flavors of frozen yogurt? Check. Ground up thin mints? Check. Cookie dough balls? Check. Reeses Pieces and Peanut Butter Cups? Check and Check. But I digress.

Rest in peace to Mr. Blei, who created some great pieces of art in his day that will live on well beyond his passing, even if it was overshadowed by a masterfully crafted frozen yogurt treat. I definitely should have taken a picture. Damn it.

Enjoy Your Weekend – Bowling Edition

Hey everyone, it’s the weekend! Please enjoy it so much.

Tomorrow I’ll go bowling. I trows ’em like Ron:

Sure this is an exact copy of a post from last year, but I only bowl like twice a year so get off my back.

Carlos Villanueva – Currently the Best Tickler in Baseball

Carlos Villanueva Mustache Cubs

Carlos Villanueva is a pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. He’s had a terrific start to the season thus far and it has absolutely everything to do with his stylish steesh. It’s refreshing to see a nice mustache on an MLB player after having to look at Joba Chamberlain and Ian Desmond during spring training.

Louis Zorich – “Steeshes is Steeshes”

Louis Zorich Mustache Pete MuppetsManhattan

Louis Zorich is an actor, probably most recognizable to you for playing Pete in The Muppets Take Manhattan or Paul Reiser’s dad in Mad About You, depending on if you like great movies or bad TV shows. Here’s Pete giving Kermit the Frog a life lesson:

What If They Grew A Steesh: Rooney Mara

Rooney Mara Mustache

Today is actress Rooney Mara’s birthday. When I received my daily celebrity birthday text message (standard messaging fees applied) saw this on IMDb I thought I better put a mustache on a picture of her from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. And guess what?! I did it!!! You can see that very picture I’m speaking of at the top of this post. Enjoy!

Ettore Boiardi – Steesh Boyardee

Chef Boyardee Mustache

Ettore Boiardi was a remarkable chef. His company made and prepared millions of rations for American and Allied troops during World War II, and for his efforts he was awarded a gold star order of excellence from the United States War Department. It’s too bad then that he had to change the spelling of his name so us dumb Americans could pronounce it.