Tag Archives: mustaches

The Steesh Stache Store

I resolved to stop wasting my time on social media this year, so I’ve begun wasting my time creating products no one will ever buy. And with that I’d like to introduce the Steesh Stache store:

mustache-products

Stay tuned for additional mustached merchandise and more!

 

donald trump mustache wall

I feel like this guy has been in the news a little bit lately. Here is Donald Trump with a fake steesh, which is possibly the only thing that could make him palatable.

I hope that some friendly Mexican boarder village builds a wall and paints the above mural on it just to warn anyone who has thoughts of immigrating here there’s a 50% chance of having to deal with Trump for the next four years.

Insert Me Thursday: Tobias Fünke in One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest

Insert Me Anywhere Tobias Funke One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest

 

Insert Me Thursday: Tobias Fünke in The Big Chill

Insert Me Anywhere Tobias Funke Big Chill

 

Insert Me Thursday: Tobias Fünke with Carl Weathers in Predator

Today’s theme: Insert Me Thursday!Insert Me Anywhere Tobias Funke Predator

Action Hero Tobias with his acting coach Carl Weathers in Predator- Double Steesh!

Tim Lincecum Grows A Mustache For Picture Day

Tim Lincecum Mustache 2014

Tim Lincecum, who I think looks like Ms. Gultch from The Wizard of Oz, grew a mustache for the San Francisco Giants photo day. It was a good effort, but it ended up looking like he forgot to wipe the Oreo crumbs from his upper lip.

Ethan Suplee and Leonardo DiCaprio Smash Things in The Wolf Of Wall Street

Eithan Suplee Mustache Wolf of Wall Street

 

Above, Ethan Suplee smashes something in a c’caine filled rage in The Wolf of Wall Street.

Below, Leonardo DiCaprio smashes it on the dance floor in a c’caine filled rage in The Wolf of Wall Street.

Leonardo Dicaprio Dancing Wolf of Wall Street

Enjoy Your Nightmares

Old mustache man and dummy

 

It’s difficult to say what this is all about, but if you’re into it there are plenty more where that came from. Can you imagine that guy coming to your 8th birthday party with his Chucky/Butcher/Dead Eyed doll?

Matthew McConaughey As Rust Cohle in True Detective

Matthew McConaughey True Detective Mustache

 

Matthew McConaughey is no stranger to the steesh, as we’ve seen in the past here and here. And now, he’s back with another dandy as the 2012 version of Rust Cohle in HBO’s wonderfully-creepy new show True Detective. If you haven’t watched this show yet, it’s worth it just to see him make those little men out of his beer cans.

Jose Valentin Wishes You A Happy Valentine’s Day

Jose Valentin Mustache

 

Jose Valentin played baseball for 15 years and made $36,997,024 doing so. I bet he buys his girlfriend the 2 pound heart-shaped box of chocolates. I could only afford the 1 pound. I’ll let you know how she handles the news.

The State Of Steeshes.com

Here’s what’s been going on, and some possible excuses for not having posted on this website for 8 months:

  • I got a new job
  • I don’t have Photoshop on my new work computer
  • There is actual work to do here
  • My desk is situated such that people can see what I am doing at all times, and I think a lot of coworkers take their shoes off because I never hear them coming up behind me.
  • I’m typing this in word and then I’m going to paste it in WordPress.
  • There are only so many people who have a mustache.
  • There is only so much you can say about how amazing each mustache is.
  • Any free time I encounter at work I spend listening to my office-mates talking about the weather.
  • This is something that was said just 1 minute ago, “It’s snowing outside. Was it supposed to snow today?”
  • If I had to guess, I’d say it was supposed to snow today seeing as it is snowing today..
  • It’s always cold in my office. Always.
  • I fear that my coworkers call me “Nips” or “PowerPoints” behind my back due to the previously mentioned cold conditions in my office.
  • How can my armpits sweat when it’s so cold in here?
  • I’m serious. I’ve used “prescription strength” antiperspirant before and that does nothing. It might have even made them more immune to other antiperspirants.
  • I often wear colors that mask the appearance of the sweat. I find white works best, and I make a point to only wear white shirts to weddings after a pretty embarrassing Blue-Shirt incident in the summer of 2011.
  • I moved.
  • I saw Nick Offerman’s American Ham again. I guess I really blew it by not posting about it.
  • I broke another toilet seat.

So yeah, things have been going on the past 8 months. You can understand why I haven’t posted anything.  I think I’ll start making some post soon that have to do with mustaches and whatever else seems like it might be appropriate.

RIP David “Deacon” Jones – The Sackman

David Deacon Jones Mustache RIP

David “Deacon” Jones died at the age of 74. Jones was a defensive end in the NFL who came up with the term “sack” for tackling the quarterback behind the line of scrimmage. It sounds like Jones might have killed a raccoon or two as a child based on his description of a sack.

“You take all the offensive linemen and put them in a burlap bag, and then you take a baseball bat and beat on the bag. You’re sacking them, you’re bagging them. And that’s what you’re doing with a quarterback.”

Zach Galifianakis Has A Mustache

Zach Galifianakis Mustache 2013

Zach Galifianakis, cousin or brother to Seth Galifianakis, trimmed his trademark beard into a mustache, accompanied by some chin-business. And I sure never imagined I’d be typing that sentence back in 2003 when I was a fresh-faced, wide-eyed freshman in college. The future was bright and I was going to really be something. But here we are.

For some reason I am getting a Bertram Cooper vibe from Zack here. Maybe if they make a Mad Men Babies he can play a young Bert.

Insert Me Anywhere: Tobias Fünke with Carl Weathers in Predator

Insert Me Anywhere Tobias Funke Predator

Action Hero Tobias with his acting coach Carl Weathers in Predator- Double Steesh!

Insert Me Anywhere: Tobias Fünke in The Big Chill

Insert Me Anywhere Tobias Funke Big Chill

I will get sick of this eventually but I haven’t yet.

Insert Me Anywhere: Tobias Fünke in Wild Hogs

Insert Me Anywere Tobias Funke Wild Hogs

This might just turn into an “Insert Me Anywhere” page for a while. Here’s Tobias with the cast of Wild Hogs 

Insert Me Anywhere: The Acting Styles of Dr. Tobias Fünke

Tobias Funke Insert Me Anywhere Mustache

Well this is pretty great. There is a new Arrested Development promotion out called Insert Me Anywhere and it features videos and pictures of Tobias Fünke (David Cross) in front of a green screen doing different stock characters for James Cameron to use in future movies. The list of characters include Cowpoke, Motorcycle Ruffian, Big Man on Campus (pictured above), along with a few more.

There are hours of fun to be had on this site. I wish I knew anything about editing video because there’s some opportunity there to get him in some fun situations. I had to settle for some photoshopping. Here’s Tobias’ Big Man on Campus character not giving a shit about the Saved by the Bell crew’s smashed up car:

Tobias Funke Saved By the Bell