Tag Archives: nba

Shane Battier Has A Mustache, French Sounding Name

Shane Battier Mustache

Shane Battier has gone and grown himself a mustache. As a Bulls fan I don’t like anyone on the Heat as they are whiny babies but at least now I can respect someone’s facial hair, unlike LeBron’s straight Amish beard. Go Bulls!

Dennis Rodman Is Now An FBI Informant, Still A Goof

Dennis Rodman Mustache FBI Informant

Dennis Rodman, former basketball player, costar of Double Team, and all around goofball is now supposedly an FBI informant regarding North Korea. I guess it’s not that crazy since he is friends with Kim Jong-un. It is, however, a bit disconcerting that the FBI is counting on a former cast member of Celebrity Rehab to give them intelligence to help with national security.

Kendall Gill Loses His Cool

Kendall Gill Mustache

I’ve had this picture saved on my computer since January 31, 2013 and thought it would be there forever. It didn’t seem like being a former basketball player and current analyst for the Chicago Bulls was gonna be enough to get him on steeshes.com. But then he PUNCHED A COWORKER. I made a bingo!

Derrick Rose Sports New Look After Recovery

Derrick Rose 2013

According to ESPN, Derrick Rose is not 100% physically due to some burning in his hamstrings. Also according to ESPN, Derrick Rose is a middle-aged white man with a mustache. Just kidding guys. I think this is an ad. We’re just having fun over here. It’s just for fun.

Happy Birthday Charles Barkley

Charles Barkley Mustache

Happy 50th Birthday Charles Barkley! Sometimes I forget that Barkley was more than a funny, outspoken player. He is a member of the NBA Hall of Fame  He was an NBA MVP, a gold medalist on the Dream Team, an 11 time All-Star and finished his career with over 20,000 points, 10,000 rebounds and 4.000 assists. According to this picture, he also enjoyed going to see adult movies in the theater.

Will Ferrell Does What He Wants

Will Ferrell Mustache Lakers Game

Will Ferrell is pretty famous. He’s at the point in his career where he does whatever he wants. Last night, what he wanted to do was be an usher at the Lakers game. So he did it. He wore a pretty nifty mustache while doing it. Here is video of Ferrell escorting out an unruly fan:

JaVale McGee – Finger Steeshing (Safe For Work, I Promise)

JaVale McGee Mustache

Last night, JaVale McGee of the Denver Nuggets threw himself an alley-oop off the backboard and then celebrated by giving himself a finger steesh. I’ve never heard of JaVale McGee, and frankly I think saying his name aloud makes me sound like I’m having a stroke, but I can become a fan if he does more stuff like that.

Here’s the video:

Whiskered Cliff – Cliff Levingston

New Rainmen coach, Cliff Livington.

Cliff “Good News” Levingston carried the Chicago Bulls to 2 NBA Championships in the early 90s.

Here’s a weird fact about Cliff:

“In 1986, while playing for the Hawks, Levingston had the rare distinction of “fouling into” an NBA game in a game. In a game where Dominique Wilkins and Antoine Carr were injured, Kevin Willis, Scott Hastings, Spud Webb and Levingston fouled out of the game. After Doc Rivers was ejected, the Hawks were down to only four players. Under an obscure rule, Levingston, the last player to foul out, was allowed to come back into the game at the cost of a technical foul.”

The Hawks decided to pass when they realized Cliff would be coming back in and just played with 4.

Andrew Bynum Finally Wigs Out Due To Injury

The injured Andrew Bynum avoided every mirror last night before sitting with the 76ers bench. Bynum, who was traded over the off-season from the Lakers, has completely lost it and doesn’t care how creepy he looks is trying to bring some west coast style back east.

Anthony Davis’ Face Is A Math Equation

Anthony Davis is the first round pick of the 2012 NBA draft by the New Orleans Hornets. It appears that Anthony not only has a mustache above his lip, he has one about his eyes.

His face is also a math equation.  His mouth is greater than his nose plus his eyes which is less than his forehead – mouth > (nose + eyes) < forehead.

Carmelo Anthony Got Hit In The Beans

Yesterday, a player that surprisingly wasn’t Andres Nocioni took a cheap shot at Carmelo Anthony’s beans. The Washington Post decided that need a write-up with interviews and all. Believe it or not, Carmelo didn’t think it was called for.

Here’s a video of someone’s tv:

Jason Kidd

It’s not smart to drink and drive. Jason Kidd did just that this weekend, resulting in a smashed up car and an arrest. Luckily for him he didn’t kill himself or injury anyone. He’s been making millions of dollars for the last 18 years.  He has no excuse for not hiring a car service, or a helicopter, or a very large man to carry him around like Uncle Jack did in Arrested Development:

This article says that he was so drunk he needed to be carried to his car, so congratulations to the idiots who carried him out to his car and let him drive home.

Clyde Drexler

Clyde “The Glide” Drexler played in the NBA from 1983 to 1998, mostly for the Portland Trailblazers, as well as a few years with the Houston Rockets to round out his career. He won a championship with the Rockets in 1995, but it really doesn’t count since Jordan took that year off to play baseball and gamble.

Clyde was a ten-time All-Star and member of the Basketball Hall of Fame, the NBA named him one of basketball’s fifty greatest players as of 1996. He was part of the 1992 USA Basketball “Dream Team.” I watched the documentary on said team last night and believe you me, there are more steeshes to come from that film.

Larry Bird

Larry Bird, the man that is pictured above with a blonde mustache, called the Indiana Pacers “soft” after they lost to the Miami Heat last night by 32. A funny thing to say for someone whose mustache has the subtitle “Ghost Protocol”, I’d have to assume.

Personally I’d like both of these teams to beat the shit out of each other. I can’t stand either of them. I’d describe how horrible they are, but my articulate cousin already had this to say, “You know the Heat are a bunch of turd cutters when everyone is cheering for the Pacers who are a solid collection of dildos themselves.”

Junior Seau

Not a good day to be featured on this site. First a basketball playing criminal, then a sports writing scammer, and now a retired football player found dead.

Junior Seau has been found dead in his home where police are investigating a shooting (suicide?). This is according to Yahoo, who is siting TMZ. I think everyone just sites TMZ in case they get one wrong, in hopes of some one suing them for everything they have and getting their terrible show taken off the air.

My cousin thinks he was shot to death for over-celebrating every tackle like he just won the super bowl. I don’t know how he lives with himself.

//
//

Jayson Williams

Jayson Williams Murder

Jayson Williams was an NBA player and a criminal. If you look at his wikipedia page, the list of crimes is longer than the list of his NBA accomplishments:

NBA
Drafted
Became good
Injury ended his career

Legal Incidents
Bar fight
Fired semiautomatic weapon
Manslaughter
Covered up a shooting
Suicide attempt
Bar fight
DWI

//
//

Metta World Peace (Ron Artest)

Ron Artest Brawl

Ron Artest, who is unstable enough to legally change his name to Metta World Peace, was back at it again yesterday. He supplied an unwarranted, knock-out elbow to the OKC Thunder’s James Harden. This is coming from a man who once started a brawl with fans in Detroit, so it’s not much of a surprise.

This is the elbow if you haven’t seen it yet:

Dwight Howard

I feel like it would be an agonizing process to try to order take-out with Dwight Howard. He would talk all about how he wanted Chinese food and once you find the menu for the place with the good egg rolls he’d decide what he really wants is pizza. So you’d figure out where to order the pizza and discuss what you wanted on it (Dwight, I don’t want any fucking onions on my pizza). Then this guy starts talking fried rice again. I just imagine it getting to about 9pm and we are both eating cereal without milk because the milk in the fridge is expired.