Maybe it’s just me, but for me, getting a valentine from Ron Swanson would be like getting one from the captain of the football team. Or no… I mean captain of the cheerleading squad. Yeah like from a cheerleader. Knibb High football rules!
Any free time I encounter at work I spend listening to my office-mates talking about the weather.
This is something that was said just 1 minute ago, “It’s snowing outside. Was it supposed to snow today?”
If I had to guess, I’d say it was supposed to snow today seeing as it is snowing today..
It’s always cold in my office. Always.
I fear that my coworkers call me “Nips” or “PowerPoints” behind my back due to the previously mentioned cold conditions in my office.
How can my armpits sweat when it’s so cold in here?
I’m serious. I’ve used “prescription strength” antiperspirant before and that does nothing. It might have even made them more immune to other antiperspirants.
I often wear colors that mask the appearance of the sweat. I find white works best, and I make a point to only wear white shirts to weddings after a pretty embarrassing Blue-Shirt incident in the summer of 2011.
So yeah, things have been going on the past 8 months. You can understand why I haven’t posted anything. I think I’ll start making some post soon that have to do with mustaches and whatever else seems like it might be appropriate.
I guess if something gets popular enough porn is going to parody it. Porks and Recreation does just that to Parks and Recreation. I didn’t watch the trailer because I’m at work and I want to be able to come back tomorrow, but you can get it here.
I don’t think I’d even care to watch it. It’s a damn shame that the merging of Ron Swanson and pornography couldn’t even yield a real mustache.
Our favorite steeshman, Nick Offerman, was at it again the other night when he appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Not only did he show off that perfect croissant-shaped steesh, he dressed as a chicken as part of the “Chickeneers.” Check out the video below for the all-cluck version of the Lumineers “Ho Hey.”
Daft Punk placed an ad during last week’s SNL. It contained a 15 second clip of new music. Some guy looped the 15 seconds into a 10 minute recording. Some genius added a loop to Ron Swanson dancing and suddenly it’s CAN’T MISS stuff. Enjoy:
I don’t even remember this happening in Parks and Recreation, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. It’s impressive that he can keep a straight face when something so adorable is happening right under his nose. With that mustache, he’s probably used to it.
My number one concern for most of adult life has been making sure I have a roof over my head when it’s time to go to sleep, and still I’ve been tricked into camping this weekend. If it’s good enough for Ron, I can give it a go. I’m not sure if I am prepared, but I have a flannel shirt on so I’ve got that going for me. Enjoy your weekend!
The last two weeks have been incredibly busy for me at work. Tomorrow will be my 13th day in a row working. That really isn’t a big deal for most people, but I am used to having enough downtime at work to run a blog dedicated to mustaches. THAT’S A LOT OF DOWNTIME!
But at least I got a treat with a new Parks and Recreation last night. It’s always nice to see Ron.
Next week the steeshes should be flowing. I saw a Steve Harvey billboard on the way in to work today and I think I’m going to start using photoshop to replace his mustache with American Landmarks. I don’t exactly know why or what that would look like, but it’s an actually thought I had today.
I don’t like to overshadow my main man Ron, but I will today after coming across this picture. This is Charles Mulligan, the owner of Charles Mulligan Steak House (probably fictional but I don’t have time to figure it out). Here’s how Ron describes it:
“I couldn’t care less about the commendation. But Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan’s Steak House. The best damn steak house in the damn state. I have taken a picture with every steak I’ve eaten there.”