Tag Archives: oscars

Argo Steesh Yourself

Argo is available today on DVD/Blue Ray and probably still in movie theaters with really sticky floors for less than you’d pay a few weeks ago. It is a pretty good flick. If you don’t trust my taste in movies (you shouldn’t), you’ll be happy to hear It was nominated for an Oscar for best moving picture.  I thought that John Goodman and Alan Arkin were amazing in it. In addition, there were some beautiful steeshes. Here are some of them.

Rory Cochrane Mustache Argo

Rory Cochrane played Lee Schatz, a member of the USDA stationed in Iran when people got mad at America and started rioting. I was really tired when the movie started and I don’t know much in the way of Iranian-American relationship history so I think you’re going to want to check it out for yourself to figure out why this stuff was happening. Something about the leader being too westernized or something, but he didn’t even dress like a cowboy, so it’s hard to tell.

Regardless of what was happening in the film, Rory plays a fine Schatz, assuming Schatz had a mustache and drives people crazy when they see him because people think they know him but can’t figure out from where and then they google him and realize he was Lucas from Empire Records.

Scoot McNairy Mustache Argo

Scoot McNairy played another one of those guys who was trapped in Iran waiting for Ben Affleck‘s beard to save him.  I can’t really do anymore research for this post, so let’s just say his glasses are ridiculously huge, and Scoot sounds like a Canadian character on South Park would say Scott.

Zeljko Ivanek Mustache Argo

Zeljko Ivanek plays a guy who has a mustache in Argo. If you remember back a few months ago, he also plays a guy with a mustache in Seven Psychopaths. He looks more like a psychopath in this movie than the other.

Casual Hitler vs Big Fat Liar vs Epic Movie

Taran Killam Mustache Casual Hitler

Christoph Waltz hosted SNL last weekend. During the monologue they pranced out a number of characters meant to make fun of Waltz’s native Austria, one of which was Casual Hitler played by Taran Killam.

Casual Hitler is probably very offensive to a lot of people, but it can’t be more offensive than some of the movies Taran (who is very funny) was in before getting on to SNL, like Big Fat Liar or Epic Movie.

Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman Feuding?!?!?!?

Robin Williams Mustache

Robin Williams heard that I posted Dustin Hoffman’s mustache from Hook last week and promptly grew a mustache of his own. No matter what you think of him, you’d have to admit it’s a nice looking tickler.

I have mixed feelings about Robin Williams. I remember watching one of his stand-up specials in high school and thinking, “Man that’s a lot of water bottles,” before falling asleep.

As an actor, he is all over the place. He obviously great in Mrs. Doubtfire and Jack but then you look at some of the other garbage he was in like Old Dogs and RV and you wonder how much does cocaine actually cost?

Dustin Hoffman – Captain Hook

Dustin Hoffman Mustache

My cousin, who created this site and made every post for a few years, must be some kind of idiot for not having HOOK posted already. I’m going to give him a pass though because I didn’t think about it until right now when I was deep in an IMDB session checking out what Charlie Korsmo got into after acting (went to MIT, worked in missile defense, went to Yale, is now a lawyer).

Judd Apatow Guest-Edited Vanity Fair, Likes the Steesh

Judd Apatow, famed writer, director and producer, can now also call himself a magazine editor. He took over the editing duties for this months Vanity Fair for their first ever comedy issue. It may be their first comedy issue but it is just another in a long line of Vanity Fair issues that I’ll never purchase.

Why is this relevant to steeshes? There are 3 covers and each one includes a beautiful mustache.

Paul Rudd:

Paul Rudd Vanity Fair Mustache

Ben Stiller:

Ben Stiller Vanity Fair Mustache

Will Ferrell:

Will Ferrell Vanity Fair Mustache

Well done, Judd.

Laurence Fishburne And Why You Should Never Watch Contagion

Laurence Fishburne Mustache

I watched Contagion last night and now I’m in a bubble in my bedroom. I had to quit my job.  I can only eat prepackaged astronaut food. Everyone is disgusting. I’m never even talking to anyone again.

Laurence Fishburne and his steesh were great in the movie though. Aside from the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow’s character was the first to die, he was my favorite part of the movie.

The picture above is a touching scene where Larry says, “You’ve got the disease. You’re going to die. Why not just let me touch them one last time?”

Oscar-worthy stuff here.

Clint Eastwood Just Short of Telling Obama to Get Off His Lawn

In his younger days, Clint Eastwood sometimes sported a mustache/beard combo in his successful motion pictures. These days he’s just rambling to invisible presidents while looking like the unmasked bad guy in a Scooby-Doo cartoon.

What If They Grew A Steesh: The Women of Bridesmaids

Today is Kristen Wiig’s birthday. I was going to give her a steesh, but I decided to just do the whole gang from Bridesmaids. This might be my Last Supper.

Penelope Cruz as Mario

Nintendo had the right idea about hiring Penelope Cruz to dress as Mario in a new ad. Where they went wrong is not having her dress in the Mario Bikini that may or may not exist yet.

Billy Crudup – “I Am A Golden God (of Steesh)”

 

Almost Famous is so good, and Billy Crudup was great as Russell Hammond. According to his IMDB page Billy “does not want to be a star, he claims. He’s one of those constantly hard-working actors who’ll shoot the movie, and do as little publicity as he can.”

He’s done a pretty good job. I’ve seen 6 of his movies and wouldn’t be able to recognize him if I saw him on the street. Of course, one of those movies was Big Fish and I didn’t even remember that Danny Devito looked like this.

Cuba Gooding Jr. – Show Me the Mustache

Famous people, especially Academy Award winning actors, are usually granted a few passes from the general public if they do something terrible. It’s a shame that Cuba Gooding Jr. used his passes on Boat Trip and Daddy Day Camp because he could use one after assaulting a woman in New Orleans.

According to everything I’ve read about the situation (which is about one third of that article above) Cuba Gooding Jr. became upset when people were taking pictures of him at a bar. He then put on a Winnie the Pooh costume and started yelling, “Show me the honey!!” When a bartender asked him to leave he slammed a  jar of honey on her head, thus resulting in the assault charge.

Again, I didn’t read the whole article so that might not be the exact story.

Ben Falcone – Mustaches and Lunch Meat

I’d bet that 95% of the posts I make on Monday have to do with a mustache I saw in a movie the previous weekend. Here is Ben Falcone, Melissa McCarthy’s love interest in Bridesmaids, and real life husband.

I just caught the end of the movie, but it was enough to remind me that this fine gentleman sported a steesh.

Here’s a clip of Ben on Conan talking about the end credit scene where he and Melissa McCarthy ruin some perfectly good sandwiches:

Darren Aronofsky

Darren Aronofsky is the director of such films as Requiem for a DreamThe Wrestler and Black Swan, among others. I have no doubt in my mind that this mustache was grown during the filming of Black Swan, specifically during the time he directed the erotic scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.

Wallace Beery

Wallace Beery quit the circus after being attacked by a leopard and became an actor. He eventually became an Oscar winning actor who was in over 232 films in the 1910s, 20s & 30s. I’m sure you’ve never seen any of the films he’s been in, unless of course Tyler Perry has remade about 50 of them as I suspect.

Henry Hill – Inspiration for Goodfellas

Henry Hill Goodfellas

RIP Henry Hill, inspiration for Ray Liotta’s character in Goodfellas. Henry  passed away yesterday of natural causes. Hill was a Lucchese crime family associate before becoming  an FBI informant when faced with possible corn-holing jail-time due to a narcotics charge.

Michael Richards

Michael Richards, famous for his long stint as Kramer on Seinfeld and his extremely racist rant at the Laugh Factory, was part of the “just watchable” Airheads. He sported a nice mustache and spent most of the movie in an air duct.